DONNA'S STORY

I have always enjoyed outside life; being with family and friends, but in 2015 everything changed. 

A 3 month stay in hospital, away from my family and coming home in a wheelchair, meant my family life would never be the same again. My children were 8 and 12. 

We went from 2 adults working 3 jobs to benefits and a part time job. 

My feeling of failure to do things was immense. 

My children missed me, chasing them upstairs, tucking them in bed, playing hide and seek and bedtime stories just weren't the same

I missed holding their hands and taking them to school. In fact they didn't want me to get them from school, not because they were embarrassed but because they didn't want people staring at me. 

There were day to day challenges especially in shops, I would disappear behind clothes rails causing my children to panic because they couldn't see me. 

I was unable to go on my own as I couldn't reach many things. 

My daughter struggled to leave me! She was later diagnosed with Separation Anxiety. She was referred for counselling... She was declined... She didn't meet the criteria! 

Then came facial tics, full body tics, repetitive verbal phrases and- OCD. She was referred for counselling.

But she didn't meet the criteria! 

In the meantime, my son was suffering too but because he struggled to verbalise he started to self harm. He was referred for counselling. He went on the waiting list and was given medication in the meantime. 

I tried everywhere looking for help. But we were a benefit family now. We couldn't afford private counselling. 

In December 2018, my son tried to take his own life. He was 15 years old. He was referred for help... He met the criteria. Only because he took such extreme measures did he qualify for help. 

A smile can hide a million tears!! 

In 2019 I was offered counselling, I was given 6 weeks.. I thought to myself... 6 weeks!!!! To unpack my head would take 6 years. It didn't work for me, they didn't understand me, the counsellor didn't meet the criteria!

During this exceptionally difficult time I continued to fight to get counselling for my daughter who had now been diagnosed with Functional Dyspepsia; a stomach condition brought on by anxiety & stress, she would vomit acid bile, when she did eat, everything would go right through her. She would cry and say " she wanted to be her old self-the one in primary school when she was free and happy".  

She was referred for counselling - she finally met the criteria!! 5 1/2 years later. 

She has since been diagnosed with PTSD

My guilt, my anger, my physical disability, the pain and the fear for my children's mental health was immeasurable. 

My poor poor husband... trying to be the anchor for his family... But really not knowing where to start and what to do. 

In 2020, I was diagnosed with stenosis of the spine a degenerative condition. This lead to me being an incomplete tetraplegic. 

This is when I broke! 

I called SIA for help, I was referred to Ian. Within a few weeks we were talking virtually. 

I couldn't believe it, he got me, he got my sadness, my frustrations, my difficulties, my physical struggles, my fears and my feeling of losing myself... He got Me! 

Without Ian I definitely wouldn't have been able to make the changes to myself, my family and home. His help has enabled us to return to an enjoyable life. 

Ian helped me with such compassion and understanding, to find myself again, to find me.. What a phenomenal counsellor! 

It's great as I don't need him now but I know he's there.....just in case! 

I underwent more spinal surgery. This time we as a family have managed much better with the support of family, friends and counsellors. 

This is my story because I feel so passionate about the importance of caring for mental health. 

IT SHOULDN'T TAKE AN ATTEMPTED SUICIDE FOR ANY HUMAN BEING TO " MEET THE CRITERIA" 

IT SHOULDN'T TAKE 5 1/2 YEARS OF INCREASING PHYSICAL AND MENTAL SUFFERING TO "MEET THE CRITERIA" 

Which is why WE need you, I need you and THEY need You, to dig deep and support this amazing charity. 

We need lots more Ians, so spinal injured people and their families can get the counselling they need, as soon as they need it. 

Thank you.