Alison Chadwick
Alison's climbing Ben Nevis
Fundraising for Macmillan Cancer Support
Story
Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.
Inspired by the youngest of Doms many gorgeous siblings, Nel, I had first seen climbing Ben Nevis as a fundraising activity for an amazing charity; but as it comes closer I am thinking of it as time to contemplate all the memories Dom and I shared over the last 27 years and indulge myself in a long conversation with him as I go up, and as I come down - all 8/9 hours!
The plan is to scatter some of Doms ashes to the four winds at the summit.
Why Ben Nevis? Dom loved Scotland. Nel loves scotland. I love Scotland. I have an abiding memory of Dom, Rob and I dancing a jig on a deserted moonlit beach on the Isle of Aran one new years eve at midnight to a gaelic tune on a portable radio.
Dom loved poetry and Keats climbed Ben Nevis and wrote a Sonnet at its summit as well as "The Dialogue" once he had returned. I have included them both here. "The Dialogue" is very funny and no doubt it tickled Dom who would surely have refered to me in jest as Mrs C, had we climbed the great Ben together.
I am reminded of the card he sent me when I turned forty shortly after him, that read " ..the view's not bad from the top of the hill don't you think, Cupid?" ( One of his many nicknames for me ). I remember thinking this was a beautiful sentiment, since we had arrived at the top of that metaphorical hill together, having navigated much of the terraine and admired the views side by side much of the way, keeping an eye on each other if we took separate paths for a while. At the top we had a chance to sit a while looking at where we'd come from and where we were going. The horizon seemed inviting. We hadn't so much as put our rucksack back on our backs and stepped onto the downward path together when he so sadly and so tragically died. And with all my heart I had hoped to walk down the other side of that same metaphorical hill together.
Many of Doms friends and family now look unexpectedly at a different horizon. We are on exciting and interesting journeys without him walking beside us as our great friend, our brother, or son; which is strange, and often heart breaking.
This is for me, a chance to reconnect with our amazing relationship.
Doms MacMillan nurse was called Milly and we called her Milly Macmillan because it had a pretty ring to it. He looked forward to her visits. I know she gave him all the medical support she could to ease his ever increasing pain, as well as financial advice, and importantly for me, pointed him toward the people he could talk to about the demons that frightened him most when he was so very poorly.
So this walk is also a thank you to Milly.
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So please donate whatever you can afford and read some Keats......I fear the last line of 'The Dialogue" might apply to me!
Many thanks and many blessings.
There are some lovely pics at the bottom of this page.
Love
Ali
x
Read me a lesson, Muse, and speak it loud
Upon the top of Nevis, blind in mist!
I look into the chasms, and a shroud
Vapurous doth hide them - just so much I wist
Mankind do know of hell; I look o'erhead,
And there is sullen mist, - even so much
Mankind can tell of heaven; mist is spread
Before the earth, beneath me, - even such,
Even so vague is man's sight of himself!
Here are the craggy stones beneath my feet, -
Thus much I know that, a poor witless elf,
I tread on them, - that all my eye doth meet
Is mist and crag, not only on this height,
But in the world of thought and mental might!
Ben Nevis: A Dialogue
There was one Mrs. Cameron of 50 years of age and the fattest woman in all Inverness-shire who got up this Mountain some few years ago -- true she had her servants -- but then she had her self. She ought to have hired Sisyphus, -- 'Up the high hill he heaves a huge round -- Mrs. Cameron.' 'Tis said a little conversation took place between the mountain and the Lady. After taking a glass of W[h]iskey as she was tolerably seated at ease she thus began --
Mrs. C.
Upon my Life Sir Nevis I am pique'd
That I have so far panted tugg'd and reek'd
To do an honour to your old bald pate
And now am sitting on you just to bate,
Without your paying me one compliment.
Alas 'tis so with all, when our intent
Is plain, and in the eye of all Mankind
We fair ones show a preference, too blind!
You Gentle man immediately turn tail --
O let me then my hapless fate bewail!
Ungrateful Baldpate have I not disdain'd
The pleasant Valleys -- have I not madbrain'd
Deserted all my Pickles and preserves
My China closet too -- with wretched Nerves
To boot -- say wretched ingrate have I not
Le[f]t my soft cushion chair and caudle pot.
'Tis true I had no corns -- no! thank the fates
My Shoemaker was always Mr. Bates.
And if not Mr. Bates why I'm not old!
Still dumb ungrateful Nevis -- still so cold!
Here the Lady took some more w[h]iskey and was putting even more to her lips when she dashed [it] to the Ground for the Mountain began to grumble -- which continued for a few minutes before he thus began,
Ben Nevis.
What whining bit of tongue and Mouth thus dares
Disturb my slumber of a thousand years?
Even so long my sleep has been secure --
And to be so awakened I'll not endure.
Oh pain -- for since the Eagle's earliest scream
I've had a dam[n]'d confounded ugly dream,
A Nightmare sure. What Madam was it you?
It cannot be! My old eyes are not true!
Red-Crag, my Spectacles! Now let me see!
Good Heavens Lady how the gemini
Did you get here? O I shall split my sides!
I shall earthquake -----
Mrs. C.
Sweet Nevis do not quake, for though I love
You[r] honest Countenance all things above
Truly I should not like to be convey'd
So far into your Bosom -- gentle Maid
Loves not too rough a treatment gentle Sir --
Pray thee be calm and do not quake nor stir
No not a Stone or I shall go in fits--
Ben Nevis.
I must -- I shall -- I meet not such tid bits --
I meet not such sweet creatures every day --
By my old night cap night cap night and day
I must have one sweet Buss -- I must and shall:
Red Crag! -- What Madam can you then repent
Of all the toil and vigour you have spent
To see Ben Nevis and to touch his nose?
Red Crag I say! O I must have them close!
Red Crag, there lies beneath my farthest toe
A vein of Sulphur -- go dear Red Crag, go--
And rub your flinty back against it -- budge!
Dear Madam I must kiss you, faith I must!
I must Embrace you with my dearest gust!
Block-head, d'ye hear -- Block-head I'll make her feel
There lies beneath my east leg's northern heel
A cave of young earth dragons -- well my boy
Go thither quick and so complete my joy
Take you a bundle of the largest pines
And when the sun on fiercest Phosphor shines
Fire them and ram them in the Dragon's nest --
Then will the dragons fry and fizz their best
Until ten thousand now no bigger than
Poor Al[l]igators -- poor things of one span --
Will each one swell to twice ten times the size
Of northern whale -- then for the tender prize --
The moment then -- for then will Red Crag rub
His flinty back -- and I shall kiss and snub
And press my dainty morsel to my breast.
Block-head make haste!
O Muses weep the rest --
The Lady fainted and he thought her dead
So pulled the clouds again about his head
And went to sleep again -- soon she was rous'd
By her affrighted servants -- next day hous'd
Safe on the lowly ground she bless'd her fate
That fainting fit was not delayed too late.
But what surprises me above all is how this Lady got down again.
John Keats
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