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I have suffered from mental health problems all my life, and yet when I tell people this, they are often shocked because I have lots of friends, a lovely life, a wonderful family and I'm always the life and soul of the party. Yet, when the party is over, I am left feeling lonely and full of self doubt. Little voices tell me: "They don't really like you, they are just being polite," and other mean things. 

When I started studying a degree three years ago, the stress of assignments and being judged really was a tipping point and I went to pieces. I have always struggled with my weight but I now piled on extra stones because I was miserable and just wanted to hide away, so I was not getting out for exercise or a change of scene. With things going so badly, my GP arranged for me to have help from a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety. Over the years I have had all sorts of help with periods of feeling low, but this was the first time somebody said, "You have an ongoing illness. It won't go away, and you need permanent medication." At the time I felt totally defeated, but now, just six months later, I realise it was a turning point. 

I think that because we use 'depressed' as an emotional state, it minimises depression in the eyes of many, and is seen as simply a mood, or a phase that a person can quickly change with a cup of tea and sit down, or a nice walk! We need to make people aware that depression isn't simply a changing mood, that it is a condition, an illness, and that patients with depression require treatment and support. 

I now feel stronger, happier and more able to get the help I need when I need it. I don't feel ashamed anymore. I am slowly changing the way I view things. Most importantly, I recognise that all those mean little voices are the symptoms of a mental health illness, and so I am much more accepting, not of what they say, but of the fact that they are there.