My Name'5 Doddie Foundation has ploughed £6.5m into MND research in the last 5 years, and we hope that a breakthrough in treatment will be just round the corner, in time for Doddie, and to help the countless future victims of MND.

Now I can hear some of you already saying “not another bloody sponsorship request from Gore, he’s always asking, blah blah blah” but to put the record straight the last cycle holiday charity fund raising trip you paid for kindly donated to was back in 2015 when I cycled from “The Clock To the Rock” (London to Gibraltar and I still have the hilarious WhatsApp Group to prove it), and that was raising funds for “Walking with the Wounded” where HRH Prince Harry Windsor was the
Patron………………my how times and my cycling ability have changed.

 Actually I am hoping Netflix might want to make a fly on the wall documentary of this epic ride as well, after all there will be swearing, parentages will be questioned, toys will be thrown and blood sweat & tears will be shed and that’s just getting Peter Winterbottom back into his big daddy style lycra onesie.

This time I am cycling as part of an elite pelican supporting MND and My Name’5 Doddie Foundation by taking part in the Doddie Cup 555 cycle ride from Cardiff to Edinburgh in 2 days (as part of a relay team) starting on Thursday 9^th February at the Principality Stadium (tidy) and ending up by delivering the match ball to BT Murrayfield in time for Scotland vs Wales in the 6 Nations Wooden Spoon decider. Luckily it’s a 4.45pm KO.

As usual there will be a hilarious blog you can mute or automatically send to your junk mail folder to then delete at your leisure, and it will have the same old jokes (some of which will be about the same slightly older jokers taking part), there will still be plenty of blatant name dropping of has-been (and never really were) rugby players BUT the good news is that as it’s only a 2 day trip there won’t be too many of them to read / delete.

It's a gruelling 555 miles mostly uphill and yes (for the clever clogs out there) the wind might be behind us but can you imagine a wind that can blow Rob Henderson’s sizable arse all the way to Edinburgh ? Well if you can, now imagine the sizable wind coming back the other way, which is probably why he will be at the back of the pelican yet again but this time not on a tandem with David Patsy Clein who rumour has it going to row there ! No stroking jokes required.

As we are leaving the Land of Our Fathers travelling to God’s Own Country we will have Craig Chalmers amongst us to act as Translator, not for the White Walkers North of the Wall but so we can understand what the Goldie sisters who are sponsoring Team Portal are saying. I quite liked the idea of Team Maserati, or Team Aston Martin but sadly Finn Russell didn’t make the cut and will be staying with Racing 92 as according to Portal Security’s DS (Michael Goldie) his “recent form doesn’t warrant selection in the Team Portal pelican, but if keeps his head down, puts on a shit load of weight and can’t see his feet by the New Year then he’ll be welcomed on board with open (not to mention hairy & sweaty tattooed) arms”.

When donating, please don’t worry about the “cost of living crisis”, “inflation” or “rising debt rates” all of which are a short term problem (said no one ever, not even our last couple of honourable PMs) but spare a thought for those of us in the Property Industry (as you sit at home instead of an office), I know for a fact that Paul Bashir has turned his indoor swimming pool down to 23 degrees to help with his ESG credentials and to muck in with the rest of us #heroesdontwearcapes 

Thanks for donating and if you’ve read this far Merry Christmas and here’s to a boring 2023 I think we all probably need one.

Christiano JS (Johnson Slayer)