For over 12 years I have suffered with Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Emetophobia. (Phobia of sickness) For those of you who know I’m open and honest about how I have coped with it and how I haven’t coped with it. Iv had therapy, CBT, iv read books, googled every tactic to try and feel normal.

This never happened, I have been like a roller coaster up and down, good days, bad days. I had times when I wouldn’t sleep for days worrying about being sick and having constant panic attacks, I would over think about what I was eating 24 hours a day, I wouldn’t go out, I would cancel my plans, the idea of being out at work, in other peoples homes would terrify me and I just felt like my whole world was falling apart. Every second of every day was a push and mentally exhausting. I felt like my old self had disappeared and would never return. 

Now it bugged me that the therapies I had didn’t seem to help much, they would give me a week window of feeling ready to tackle it, but then it would fade away. 

I attended the Speakmans Workshop very last minute as I had followed them on social media and what they were doing was incredible, but also didn’t really think they could make someone changed that much so quickly.

October 2021 I came out of a full day with them feeling confused, tired and sad that I only had 5 minutes  with Nik and didn’t feel any different . 

Once I was home I had the best night sleep, I got up the next day and felt good and happy. I ate, I went to  work and just had Niks voice repeating in my head and something just clicked, but with out me realising. The idea of being sick had kind of slipped away the more I heard Nik talking to me. I started to really read their books and work on what they had told us in the workshop and honestly I haven’t had an episode since. 

I used to call my Mum at 2am crying, scared that I was going to be sick, I would txt her through out the night telling her what I had eaten, can I be sick from this, that I couldn’t sleep it was awful and not fair on her or my Dad. They have not had one txt or phone call. 

What Nik had taught me was from the very first attack that I had that nothing bad had happened, I wasn’t sick, I didn’t die and I panicked over nothing, they made me think about the evidence of what happened that day and it was true that nothing bad had happened. I carried on my day after I had a panic attack. All of this could have come from a trauma from when I was little. But it could be from something as little as seeing someone being sick and they got laughed at, and I never wanted that to be me, they made me think about the smaller things that had happened previous that was a possible child hood trauma. But I am okay, that person was okay, nothing bad had happened and I’m okay.

So this charity is based on their therapy, and it’s amazing and I’d highly recommend it to anyone, I have been to their workshop for the second time and feel I got event more out of it. 

So this run is for them to say Thank you and to give everyone the help they truly need, to be cured from phobias and anxiety. We should not go through live coping we should go through life heeled and happy!!!

So please donate let’s get the ball rolling !!!! Thank you soooo much x