12th of May 2002.
She couldn’t continue. The fight was too much. She was a strong little girl but she had grown tired.

16 years ago, a Mother lost a daughter, a little Girl lost her big sister and a Grandma lost her little star. For many years the questions ruled us…Why her? Was the diagnosis too late? Why our family? What did we do to deserve this much heart ache?

Megan was diagnosed 6 weeks late with an aggressive teenage cancer, Rhadbomyosarma, which less than 60 children a year are diagnosed with. Due to the rareness and aggressiveness of this form of soft tissue cancer, Meg was rushed into specialist care and the delayed diagnosis meant she was given many treatments of radiotherapy and chemotherapy immediately. The cancer was advanced and the treatments took their toll on her organs, causing them to fail. Throughout this time my Mum lived in Leeds with my Sister and I stayed with close family. On the weekends my Gran would pack a picnic and take me to Leeds to visit Mum and Meg. I grew up with little children battling cancer and looking back I was utterly clueless. They were children and they still wanted to play and laugh. The difference was I could go home, play outside and go to friend’s houses. Meg met many friends; many of whom lost their battle before herself and others whom won their battles and could finally go on to lead more normal childhoods. 

However, from this point, those questions that we asked 16 years ago don’t seem to matter. We wonder how different our lives could be with her around, changing from a strong little girl into an incredible woman. I find that over the last year I’ve lost sight of the importance of what really matters. Money can’t buy you complete happiness. What matters is who you surround yourself with and ensuring they are people who love and cherish you. When thinking of what to write I realised that I would be living a completely different life had Meg been here. I’d have been different, but I will never know what she would be like or what it’s like to grow up with the support of a big sister. I’ve missed out on that, and all of a sudden nothing else seemed more important to me than to fully embrace what we are given. I have been given two amazing role models; my Mum and my Gran and I’m sure Meg would have followed in their footsteps, growing into an amazing woman too. My hope is to one day too become even only half of the women and role models that they are themselves.

The aim of this event for me was to raise lots of money, but ive recently began to realise how it has brought our family so close. I think it was the first time my family has ever talked about loosing Meg, and its really libarated us. How it affected each of us. Its extreamly sad to hear them stories but its comforting that they are finally being told. Id say the lead up to this event, i learnt a lot about myself and how loosing my sister affected me. I went through many counselling sessions as a child, attending Martin House and we had been supported by many other charities too. But it clearly has affected me all my life, because ive been to scared to ask, question and bring up the pain my family has been adapting to live with.. Its clear to me that this has opened up a lot of unsaid stories and feeling and this is why marathon really has changed my life. Not only have we raised awareness, that as a mother if you know something isnt right fight it! We wanted to educate about symptoms, and doing this we have raised a substantial amount of money, ive learned what im capable of both physically and mentally but the vast support we have recived as a family has brought us together on a different level for the first time. And i deeply thank everyone for that. 

Meg has never left our lives but she has left so many important messages of what’s really important in life. You can’t replace those kinds of people. 

The Challenge - so on the 14th of April 2019 I will be taking part in my biggest challenge yet. I must say even after the Great North Run, I still wouldn’t run after the ice cream man! I’m extremely nervous about this one…THE PARIS MARATHON...don’t laugh, this girl can (with lots of chocolate and gin at the end please)! I’m aiming for a bigger total this year because incredible charities like Cancer Research UK deserve every penny!

All of your donations are welcome and greatly appreciated, no matter how big or small: Thank you all so much for your support, roll on April!

Much love, Lottie x