Hello.

Do you know me? Yes you do, even if it’s only tenuously…

I may be related to you by blood, or we may have been friends for longer than you care to remember, or we may simply have remained in touch because I managed to have the restraining order overturned on appeal. Anywho, what I am contacting you for today is a little wedge for the ridiculous affair of myself, my brother and Cheeks doing not 1 but 2 triathlons in 2006.

1. David Lloyd Lincoln Sprint Triathlon / 16 July 2006
400m Pool Swim - 20km Bike - 5km Run
http://www.pacesetterevents.com/lincoln-sprint.php

2. The Michelob Ultra Triathlon / 05 August 2006
750m OPEN WATER! Swim - 20km Bike - 5km Run
http://www.thelondontriathlon.com/Individualinfo.html

Now for those of you who know me well you will know that I have been prone, in the past, to the flag (i.e. inherent laziness bordering on the sloth like). It is with this in mind that I am sending you this email nice and early so as to inspire me to train like I’m going to need to, in order to drag my body around the various courses.

With the inherent pain involved I have abrogated all responsibility from my human self and for the purposes of Triathlon training, the discussion of training, talking about discussing training, actually training, getting the train to go training, training on the train in the rain, and the putting of training into practice by doing. I will be allowing myself to become a machine whose sole purpose is to destroy km in whatever format is in front of him… I will become the Cassinator (and refer to myself in the 3^rd person; the Cassinator needs carbs, the Cassinator is feeling his hard drive, the Cassinator needs to download an upgrade, etc). Please ensure that all communication, advice, money is sent to the Cassinator only. 0’s & 1’s a preference.

As for where the money goes, despite my best efforts Cancer Research UK were not interested in giving the Cassinator a 20% finders fee, but I have decided to go with them anyway. I won’t bore you with stats like 1 in 3 people will get cancer of some kind during their life time, I’m sure that we all know someone who has been affected in some way or another. Whatever you can spare, even if it’s just £5 will make a massive difference, and will be greatly appreciated by me and all those who it will hopefully benefit.

Donating through this site is simple, fast and totally secure. It is also the most efficient way to sponsor me: Cancer Research will receive your money faster and, if you are a taxpayer, an extra 28% in tax will be added to your gift at no cost to you.

(PLEASE NOTE THAT WHILST CHARITY IS, AND RIGHTLY SO, THE WINNER HERE. THIS HAS ALREADY BECOME A HIGHLY COMPETITIVE EVENT BETWEEN THE 3 MUSKETEERS TAKING PART, AND I CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT THE OTHERS WILL FOLLLOW MY LEAD AND ASK YOU FOR MONEY… ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU SPONSOR ME FOR MORE THAN YOU DO THEM. THANKS. (Does this make me a bad person?)

1010010101010101100101
The Cassinator.