Hello!

Firstly, thank you for clicking that link - it's really appreciated you came here.

Secondly, on , I am going to run my hideously unfit, 238 pound body from my flat in Mickleover, , to my place of work in Matlock, Derbyshire.

The route i am taking is just over 26.01 miles.
I have never even ran a race in my life, let alone a marathon. I have done very little exercise in the last year.
This is without a doubt going to be the most difficult task I have ever done in my life.

The story behind why? Well that's a rather long read, but here goes...

Those of you who know me well would attest to the fact I am generally a happy person, although you would also know that the last 12 months have been, well, miserable to say the least.

In March 2009, my father had a brain haemorrhage and died at the age of 43. Unfortunately my father and i had not had the best of relationships while i was growing up, but we finally started to patch things up around Christmas 2008.

When he died i literally felt that fate/god/whatever runs the show was taking the biscuit a little.

Losing my father hit in a way I could not have expected or understood. I literally lost all feeling and emotion about everything. I lost all enthusiasm to participate in anything, i got anxious and panicked about going out to clubs/bars/meeting new people, i completely detached myself from things at an emotional level to try and cope with what I really did not understand.

Every aspect of my life took a hit with this new way of thinking, I limited myself to social events with close friends (it was easier to pretend to be happier around them) and work became uninteresting and difficult to focus on.

I had no ambition, no goals. Nothing. Absolutely zilch. Life was just ticking along.

It eventually lead to the break up of my relationship, and the pain of relocating/losing somebody I loved really took me to the lowest point in my life. I actually didn't care anymore.

It was around then I was diagnosed with Depression.

My doctor explained the illness to me - explained how we all have ups and downs etc, but that after such a long period of time i should be feeling better/different to how i currently felt.

It was a pretty tough pill to swallow! Me, depressed? No, can't be....

March (which in the space of 3 days consisted of the anniversary of my dad's death, and my would be anniversary of my previous relationship) came and it was quite honestly the worse month of my life. I had to take time off work, I spent whole days in bed, I cried a lot when I was on my own. Things really sucked.

But during this low, my family/colleagues/friends were always there for me - never judging me and always offering support. Despite being terrified of sharing the news of my illness with them, it actually felt better the more people I told.

Pull yourself together Bembridge.

They were the words i told myself on April 1st.  A bit harsh perhaps - and rather insensitive, but I needed a kick up the jacksy.

I needed to find focus again - I had a great life, great friends and family and wanted to get myself back on track.

Mind over matter is a rather common expression. Its relevance here is almost funny.

The mind is a funny old thing - I don’t understand it at all. One day an event can only slightly bother you, another it can send you to the deepest pits of depression, but i guess that's the nature of the illness.

So, why running?

I have no idea what inspired me to do this - I just had a desire to run. And run far.

After an unsuccessful attempt to register for The Race for Life (they really should make it more clear its for women only...) i decided to run to and from work for a week. I then realised just how many miles it was along my preferred route. It was an entire bloody marathon.

Perhaps just the one way then... as I said - I can't even run up the stairs without getting tired. 

But i knew if i focussed and put my mind to it, i could make it.

So I implore you  to sponsor me, even more so if you think I won't be able to do it.

(By the way, I have started a strenuous training plan to make sure I don't seriously injure myself when I actually do the run)

When you sponsor me, you are generously giving to the Charity, Mind. They exist to provide help and support to people who suffer from mental distress.

I'm sure you know somebody, maybe even yourself, who has had a hard time of things during their life. These guys are there to make things easier. They really did for me.

Thanks for reading this (it was a tad longer than i originally envisioned...)

Let's see how accurate this mind over matter thing really is...

C x