Hi!

Welcome to my donate page- I presume you have
found this as I have told you to donate to me, but I appreciate the gesture all
the same.

I have decided (after ageessss of saying I wanted
to do something to say thank you to those who have helped me over the past few
years), to walk the Yorkshire three-peak challenge in 12 hours.

At a glance the challenge is:

§  Pen-y-ghent

Height: 694 m; 2,227 ft

Whernside
Height: 736 m; 2415 ft

Ingleborough
Height: 723 m; 2,372 ft

Distance: 40km; 25 miles

Yes, most of you know I do like a gentle walk
in the peaks, ending at a pub with a roast dinner and glass of red wine.
However, you will also know, exercise and fitness is not something that comes
wanting or naturally to me. Because of this, I will not be doing this challenge
for the fun of it, but for money.

Obviously, I will be donating this money! I
have decided to donate to the wonderful Charity Mind.

Mind, alongside Sheffield IAPT NHS (who do
not have a donate page, otherwise this would be going to them also), really
bloody helped me when things were pretty shit in my brain.

In the past, I was not all too well, really struggling
with Depression, Anxiety and OCD. I have been slowly plodding along with depression
since my mid-teens, and anxiety & OCD for as long as I can remember. Things
finally reached a crescendo in December 2016, when just everything became all
too debilitating, and the easiest way I could figure out how to stop feeling like
I was drowning all the time (in tears and my bed-sheets), was trying to kill myself
(morbid yes, but the story gets better, I promise).

The main thing that saved me was love and
pain. My grandma, love of my life passed away, on the 7th December
2016, and I could not bear my mum, my other love of my life, having to go through
anything else that would hurt her.

I realised the loss and utter-heartbreak I felt
at that moment, was caused because of love, and if love could make me feel
things that greatly when I rarely felt anything, I probably should not give up
on the idea that I could love myself either.  

I was not sure how or if I was ever going to
feel better, but it was a start.

On May 30th 2017, I took myself on
a walk around the local neighbourhood where I lived; and something shifted. I
all of a sudden felt like I could get my head above the water that I felt had
been drowning me and my thoughts, for so bloody long.

I reached out for help (as I had done in previous
years) but this time I actually believed and wanted to get better. I took myself
off my contraceptive pill; went to see my doctor with the support of my
wonderful flatmates and family, and was put on anti-depressants; I took myself on
long walks rather than hiding in my room; I started eating again (and have managed
to put on 2 stone in a year which I am immensely proud of myself for); and I started
seeing a therapist and CBT councillor from Mind and IAPT.

In the space of just a few years, I have reached
out and made the most wonderful and caring friends; I no longer have to starve
myself as I can go to the shop without believing I am going to die; I have opened
up to my friends, family and colleagues when I was struggling; and allowed myself
to be with the love of my life without thinking he was going to die all the
time and having to call to check he was okay every half an hour (sorry Jack).

It would have been fitting to do this walk on
May 30th this year, but it turns out I've booked myself to be away on
holiday…(I promise this does not mean I am not dedicated to the cause, just desperate
for some vitamin D). Therefore, I am going to do this walk, on the 4th
of May 2019.

I am going to try to finish the Yorkshire three-peak
challenge within 12 hours, which for my lazy-self, is going to be hard work.

Please support me and donate, so hopefully I can
help other people reach the stage where they feel they can get their head above
the water too, and finally breathe.

Thanks, (and thank you for getting to the end
of this),

Love B xx