02/10/2014-

I just got the email that this page was supposed to expire in one week. I'm not ready to let go of it just yet.

Grieving does not get easier, I have been without a mother for 20 months and 1 day. There have been times that I have tried to fill the void with substitutes and I have been frustrated when they don't fit. Sometimes my mind pretends she is still here, for a split second I can believe it.. sometimes I wonder if she ever really existed.

I miss her voice, the smell of her neck, her soft hands, the way she had all the answers, the smell of her tea brewing, her incessant whistling, her music, the crunch of her hairspray-ed hair, the click of her knitting needles, the scent of burnt pizza crust,  the little hole in her top lip, the doodles by the phone, the sound of her laugh and the faux-underbite smile but most of all I miss the presence of a Mother's love in my life, an unconditional, all encompassing love by someone who grew me and made me, me.

Nothing in my life will ever be perfect again, there will always be an emptiness to the happiest of days and it shouldn't be this way, that's why I am extending the page and I won't stop until I reach £10,000. I don't know how or when, but we will get there. Little girls should have longer with their mothers.

17/04/2013 -

Mine and my Mum's best friends have decided to take part in this years 'Race for Life' in memory of the best lady I have ever met.

It's ____ losing your mum.

It's blank because I can't think of a word to describe it or a word to justify how I feel every day she's no longer here, I think 'blank' is pretty accurate. Never in my life will anything ever be perfect because I've lost the best part of it. We're doing this to stop people losing their wonderful Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunties and Sisters. I don't want anyone else to feel how I feel.

We all miss you so much Mum, and we're 'tigerfeeting' and 'perversity-thrusting' 5k in your memory, just as you would have wanted it. We love you,

Bethany, Marisa, Clarissa, Georgia, Poppy and Louise xxx

(If you would like to take part in memory of Alib, let me know, I'll add you to the list and start fundraising!)

7/2/2013 UPDATE-

'A lady always knows when to leave.' We lost her on the 1st of February at 3AM. She died peacefully and it's not sunk in yet.

Here is where we would like the flower donations to go. I want people to have longer with their mothers- we shouldn't worry about healthy, wonderful women passing away at 47 and leaving a child that's not even 16. It's a tragedy and so unfair. Your donations will help put a stop to this.

Me and Marisa had a short time with her but we wouldn't change it for the world, to us, she was perfect and I was ridiculously lucky to have 19 years with someone like her.

I planned to shave my head to support her through chemo, but she never even got a chance to lose her hair. I don't know what I am going to do, I'm still figuring out what would have made her most proud. 

The funeral is being held on the 12th of February at 1:20pm at Barham Crematorium. Wear a hint of pink to remember probably the best woman ever to grace the earth.

 

 

Hello, my name is Bethany and I am going to shave my head for Breakthrough Breast Cancer.

My mother is my inspiration for who I am and almost everything I do. Not a day goes by that I don't know how lucky I am to know and be loved unconditionally by somebody as wonderful and as kind as her. I think if soulmates are a real thing, she's mine.

Recently my family recieved some horrendous news, she's been diagnosed with stage 3 inflammatory breast cancer. This is the most aggressive form of breast cancer, and it is extremely rare. Her cancer is incurable, however it is treatable.

The best words I've heard since this shook my entire world is 'This is not a death sentence'. I am doing this to remind her of this, to show her people care for her, to keep her fight in her and to show her she isn't alone.

If you know my Mum, you'd know her hair is her thing! Her hair loss will knock her more than most people will begin to understand, so I am shaving my head to support her in this horrible journey she has ahead of her. I want to be there for her in any way I can and show her how much I love her.

So please, show her how much you love her too and help me raise £1000 to save the lives of people like my mum.

BALD IS BEAUTIFUL.