Aye, thank you heartily for bringing thy sorry self unto my money-making broadside page. Prithee, digg deepe and sponsor mee for a cause that is verry just and mighty good.

If ye don't know it yett, I am going by two wheels, powered by my legs alone, all the miles from London to Brighton, on ye 15th day of July this year. Take note, I want your support, for by my pains and efforts, I wish to rayse up 500 pounds for that charitty call'ed Norwood.

Donating be simple, fast and oddsbobs, it bee totally secure, as well as ye paramount efficient way to give over thy shillings: Norwood will receive them more speedily and, if thou be a taxpayer of England, ye Chief of ye Exchequer will give an extra 28% from his own licey pockets, at no cost to you, praise be unto Heaven.

Lawks, then! For what are thee waiting?

A thousand thanks, gentle friend, and we'll have a drink in ye Bull & Mouth afterwards.