Behind the veil - a poem for those who have lived a long goodbye.

Alzheimer's took my Grandmother from my family almost a decade ago; coronavirus set her free in December 2020.

When my Grandmother passed away in December 2020, we struggled to find the right words fitting our experience of such a long goodbye. The readings we stumbled upon online and in books were too harsh, too short, too jagged to express all the emotion Alzheimer's brought to the fore, coupled with the circumstances the pandemic brought us at the end of her life. Nothing fit, and if we felt this way, I believe there are many others who have battled against this too. 

I am not a poet, just a granddaughter finding a path through grief whilst separated from her family thanks to her joy of writing. I wrote these words for my Grandmother, for my family, and for anyone who has suffered through a long goodbye. If they give someone in the throes of eulogy writing a moments rest from the frustration and anguish of finding the right words to say, please use them. (They are all I have to give.)

I hope you will find solace in them, use and share them if they help, and remember that your loved ones were, are always more than those last years or days.

Laura

x

Behind the veil

In the shadows, I sense you near,
And in the footprints already past, 
where you left me long ago,
footsteps on a separate path.

And whilst you walked behind a veil;
one that held you at arms reach,
I walked along beside you
on a path I could not seek.

So I stumbled up the hillsides,
and I tripped upon the vines.
Though my heart may ache today, tomorrow,
it's so grateful you were mine.

You are not what had become of you;
You are not that fateful foe;
(You are too precious to be cast and held
in that unbefitting mould.)

For even in this season 
of a life when you weren't near,
All you gifted gives me strength;
a life of memories so dear.

There's a rose now in the border
where I can speak your name.
But for now I say goodbye, have rest,
(I will see your soul again.)

- Laura Tweedale

lauratweedale.com

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Cover image courtesy of Cecile Hournau https://unsplash.com/@cecile_hournau