Those of you who know me, will know that Multiple Sclerosis is a condition which has touched my life. 
I still remember the day my Mum picked me and my sister up from school and handed us a leaflet which said; 

''What To Expect Now Your Parent Has MS' 

Little did I, my Sister or my Mum for that matter know that moment would change the course of our lives. 
It's been nearly 20 years and I can still remember that moment so vividly. 

For the first few months and years after diagnosis nothing particularly changed for us as a family. I can remember mum was a lot more tired and sometimes she struggled to walk as she had a dead leg, or pins & needles. She needed to sit down more often and I can remember some scary moments - especially when she was driving and her leg would go dead and she wasn't able to brake (one time my sister had to pull the handbrake on so we did not crash!). 

A few years later mum was having to use two walking sticks to try to remain as mobile as she could, but she had to give up work and was having a lot more falls at home and out and about. My sister and I stuck together and we were basically my mum's full time carers at this point by any sense of the word. My sister was working full time and used to have to come home on her lunch to help my mum make lunch and a cup of tea so she didn't scold herself using the kettle (Like she had many times up to this point). We lived in a house with stairs, and you can imagine the difficulty my mum used to have getting to bed at night - we used to have to stand behind her every night on the stairs to ensure she could walk up safely - most often than not picking her feet up and putting them on the next step so she could use her upper body strength to pull herself up. It was hard. It still brings a tear to my eye now as I type this to think about what we had to go through behind closed doors. 

Inevitably my mum had to admit to herself it was time to transition to using a wheelchair - at first for the ease of remaining mobile when out with people - but eventually over about a year or so mum had to begin relying on the wheelchair more and more before finally transitioning to using it full time. This was a weight off my sister and me as we knew at least she would not have any falls. 
By this time - probably about 10 years after her diagnosis - my mum had been diagnosed with Secondary Progressive MS - meaning she would no longer have any periods of 'remission' but would instead progressively decline - most likely towards eventual paralysis. 
My mum was using a wheelchair daily now and had to move to the ground floor of our home as she could no longer use the stairs safely. 

The guilt both my sister and I felt in leaving home and moving out, and asking for HELP was unimaginable. MS does not just affect the person, it affects everybody touched by it. 
My sister and I had left home, but still we worried day in and day out for our mum's safety, and her health. Nobody really talks about the 'carer' or 'children' - we are almost expected to just get on with it - the lack of emotional support available at that time in our lives was truly devastating. We had each other, but we never really spoke about what had happened. It was not until years later that I myself had finally come to terms with it all and had counselling. 

'Paralysis' 

The word makes me feel a number of emotions - but mainly anger. Anger that my mum has already been taken away from me in the way a child has a parent to look after them. I was around 11 when my mum was diagnosed. My sister is 13. By the time we were 21 and 23 respectively we were carers and our mum was no longer our mum in the usual sense - the roles had been reversed. 
The other thing it makes me feel is scared - totally scared.

MS is different to everyone - and so many more treatments are available these days that were not when my mum was diagnosed. 
The symptoms for MS vary by person but can affect almost anything controlled by your Central Nervous System.

My mum is now 58. She has 2 Children and 2 Grandchildren. 
She can no longer walk. She is losing the ability of movement in her upper limbs. 
She has no control of her bladder or bowel. She struggles with Memory. Thinking. Cognition and even with Swallowing Food and Drink.

Her life has never been the same since that day back in 2001 and neither has mine as her son or my sister as her daughter.. The remainder of her life is likely to be uncertain, gruelling and hard. 

This is why I am doing the big leap - because the MS Society still needs help in raising awareness and money for research to understand and treat this illness. 
So many people I speak to even now - 20 years later, do still not understand the impact of MS and what it does and how. 
MS is not curable and nobody knows why it affects some people and not others - but this is the key to us finding out ways to STOP MS. 

So if my story has touched you and you want to donate - please do, and please share this story to anyone far and wide.

Any donation will help in the fight to stop MS.