In the interests of "transparency" (see what I did..?), I'll firstly tell you I work under a pseudonym "Annie" to protect my identity and that of my children. Secondly, I'll tell you all straight off that I signed up to the Edinburgh marathon to raise money for the Transparency Project last year in a moment of utter madness and was sitting on my backside on the sofa eating hot cross buns in Newcastle when the starting pistol went off this year on the 26th of May. The hot cross buns were spot on and, quite frankly, je regrette rien. 

However. I also signed up for my fifth Great North Run which takes place on Sunday the 8th of September , and my third Great North 10K which takes place on Sunday the 7th of July, and I'm now back in training (albeit purple, out-of-breath, slower-than-a-tortoise-wading-through-peanut-butter training). I'll be posting regular training updates for your comedic pleasure and in the hope that you'll share this page and people will drop me a few quid out of sympathy.

So, why am I putting myself through this yet again? Well, the reasons are three-fold.

1. I quite like running. I mean, not at the minute. At the minute I genuinely question my sanity. But generally speaking, I do enjoy it. It gives me a sense of freedom (especially when I'm listening to the Rocky theme tune/training montages) and achievement (when it's over). It's a little bit of me-time. And it also gives me carte blanche to eat All The Food.

2. The Transparency Project (TP) is really quite close to my heart. I'm a birth mum who has been through several sets of care proceedings back-to-back. I haven't always been the best mum I could be and in the past, I failed my children. I went through the horror of having a new-born baby removed at just six days old on a "future risk of emotional harm". Back then (around seven years ago) I had a really tough time, but "blogs" from TP founding members; Andrew Pack, Lucy Reed and Sarah Phillimore made it easier for me to understand where I had gone wrong. These blogs also helped to translate family law into something I could understand and helped me to educate myself on family law. This was a huge turning point for me and from then I worked hard to change my life to be a "good enough" parent which ultimately led to my new-born baby being returned to my care. Since then, I spoke at the very first "CPConf2015" about my experiences which in turn led to a career as a Consultant in social work and family law. Helping birth families and those around them understand the law is one of my huge passions in life; empowering these same families to make changes to help keep their families together is another. TP is equally committed to this objective and the whole team dedicate an awful lot of their time, unpaid, to try to "make family justice clearer". TP carries out an important public legal education function that no one else provides. We work to inform the public about family law in England and Wales, and to explain how the family courts work. We aim to encourage the provision of more and better information available to the public about these areas through publishing our own explanations of cases, by challenging poor news reporting and supporting better coverage from journalists. We publish ‘plain English’ guidance notes for use by parents and professionals demystifying recurrent areas of confusion or anxiety in family law and by attending court as ‘legal bloggers’ and publishing our own reports of what we have observed. We run events at which we bring together judges, family justice professionals and the public whose lives they affect. We work with family justice professionals to promote transparency from within and with the mainstream media by supporting them to cover family justice issues responsibly. We work with key stakeholders to encourage thoughtful responses to how the system can be made more open, accountable and accessible without compromising the privacy or safety of the vulnerable children at its heart.
I'm a hugely proud member of the team at TP, keeping the voice of birth families present (and loud) and I'm hugely proud of the rest of the team too. 
It's really difficult to find funding for such a niche charity, and I want to do my bit to help.

3. Finally, and most importantly. I lost my eldest son, Jonny, on the 27th of May 2017 at 8.46am. He took his own life. I try every single day to honour him and ensure that no one forgets him. Jonny looked after my youngest son, the new-born who was returned to us, to enable me to attend CPConf2015, and CPConf2016 for TP. Jonny gave me the wings to allow me to be "Annie" and he fully supported their work. I would not be where I am today without his support and encouragement. Many members of TP were present not only at his funeral, but at his burial too, which was a very private time. I run in his memory, for him and with him in mind. Family justice affects every member of the family, and older siblings are often forgotten. In Jonny's name, we must remember. 

If you would like to know more about the work of the Transparency Project, our website is here:

http://www.transparencyproject.org.uk/

If you'd like to read more about Jonny's story, my own website is here:

http://survivingsafeguarding.co.uk/2017/10/09/do-no-harm/

If you'd like to donate, please do so. If you cannot afford to, please just simply share this page. I'd be really grateful.

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.

Thanks for reading,

Annie

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#forjonny