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My mother was diagnosed with terminal Bowel Cancer in 1997.  She was 70 years of age and although some of you might think that she'd had a 'good innings', she was vigorously pursuing her life and enjoying her family, so her diagnosis was a huge blow to her.   It was very hard for us to celebrate her 70th Birthday knowing that she might not have much time left.

Although I visited her as much as possible, I had work and family to consider as well.  Mum's friends and relatives visited and she remained cheerful and upbeat for all of us. I will always regret I didn't take time away from work to be there for her.  I know she would have understood, but you only have one Mum.  

The one thing that gave her peace of mind in the few months leading to her death in 1998 was Farleigh hospice.   At this point Farleigh was a large old house with a lovely garden in Chelmsford, not the large modern unit close to Broomfield hospital where it is situated now.  Beautiful as it was it was far too small for the people it catered for.

Mum had two weeks' respite there on a rotating bed basis, and was comforted by the fact that the hospice clearly and sensitively understood her needs.  At that time they also had a day centre in Braintree where she could visit and chat to others going through similar.  She treasured these times and was greatly uplifted. 

Her condition took a nosedive in March 1998 and she was unable to achieve her wish to take a trip in a hot air balloon as she was too weak (something I did whilst thinking of her on my 50th birthday several years later).  She also had to forego the family holiday she had hoped for before she died.  Still she tried to keep happy, but was upset to think that she could no longer visit her elderly mother some distance away and would never have the chance to say goodbye.

Having completed a two week stay at Farleigh at the beginning of July, she returned home only be taken ill during a visit from me and her grandson.  I called the ambulance and I think we both knew it would be her final time at home.  At Broomfield A & E, they advised Mum's organs were all affected and were breaking down.

Mum was taken to a private room in the ENT ward where she stayed until she died.  Farleigh couldn't take her back as they didn't have the beds.  The Broomfield nurses were wonderful and I was allowed to stay with her 24/7.  Eleven days later, when she thought I had left the room she passed over, I rushed to her to say goodbye and she struggled to come back but I told her it was okay for her to leave, she had prepared me and it was her time.

Mum had wanted to die with people who could ease her passing and who would be there to support me.  Instead she didn't have that peace of mind and worried about me to the end.  I know her wish would be to help support Farleigh to be there when others pass over and this is why I am fundraising.

 Please help me to remember my mother by donating to this cause and sponsoring me for my parachute jump (though I'm not sure how much Mum would approve of my actions to fund raise).

On the day it was booked there was thunder and lightening, but on May 4th the sun shone and everyone enjoyed the hospitality of Sibson Airfield, Cambs, who looked after me brilliantly and nursed all participants through their first tandem dive.  I've done it and will post the video ASAP

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