So, here I am at it again, walking........only this time it's 100km and this time i'm raising money for The Mental Health Foundation in the memory of my beautiful friend Baljit, who sadly took her own life last July. 

Even though we hadn't seen each other for many years, we had kept in touch, so when I received the news of Baljit's death, I was truly dumbfounded, it felt as if I had been sucker punched straight in the belly.......absolutely and totally gutted!

I've dragged my heels setting up this page, not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't find the right words...........So here goes, let me give it a whirl.....I'll start by telling you a little of how i met her and what a truly wonderful human she was........  

......I met Baljit in 1997, we were both student nurses. I was going through a very difficult time with my family. A mutual friend of ours spoke to Baljit about my family difficulties and wondered if she could maybe talk to me to offer support as Baljit was of the same cultural background and going through a similar situation, she sought me out, left a message for me and we arranged to meet. I was quite shy and awkward back then (shock horror, I know, some would say I still am awkward!😉) So, I met Baljit with trepidation, not knowing what i was going to say, where I was going to start. I need not have worried though, because she was the loveliest person, kind and caring. she didn't know me from Adam and this sweet lady had taken time out just to talk to me, reassure me, give me advice. I can't tell you what her kindness and support did for me, it was invaluable having someone who actually understood what it was like to come from a strict Asian background. We became firm friends from then on! That was the kind of lady Baljit was, not just to me and not just back then, but to everyone she knew and met, all the lovely and heartwarming things family and friends had to say about her after her death, just reinforced what a truly awesome person she really was and that she hadn't changed over the years!       

We have all suffered from some sort of mental health issues, if not, we know someone who has or still is. I myself have suffered from severe post natal depression after my last two pregnancies. The depression and anxiety didn't just disappear months or a year after having my children, it's still with me to varying degrees, depending on what's going on in my life, what pressure's I'm under or simply because it's just how I feel, no cause, no reason. Very few people know this about me, simply because I'm ashamed, I know I shouldn't be but I am! I feel I'm viewed as strong, a strong willed and confident woman, because that's how I portray myself but sometimes I'm non of those things when I'm sobbing into my husband's shoulder like a small child, sometimes on a daily basis and that's why I suppose, I'm on the "go" all the time, I work lots, I walk lots, when all I want to do is be still, curl up and cry, but I'm afraid that if I do stop, that i'll never be able to get going again. I realise this is irrational, but it's how my head deals with it.....anyway enough about me!🙄

 So as I write this, I realise I'm not doing this just for Baljit, I'm doing this for myself, and for anyone else who has battled with mental health issues but also for our loved ones who have seen us broken on many occasions and have supported us throughout and last but not least I'm doing this for Baljit's husband Matt and their 3 children, who have lost a beautiful loving wife and mother!

After doing the 54km challenge last July shortly after Baljit passed away, I'd made the decision to do the 100km and decided to raise funds for The Mental Health Foundation, their vision "is to have a world with good mental health" and to achieve this, they aim to help people understand, protect and sustain their mental health.

Below are some statistics I sourced from the MHFA England website.......mindblowing

The impact of mental ill health

• 1 in 4 people experience mental health issues each year.

• 792 million people are affected by mental health issues worldwide.

• At any given time, 1 in 6 working-age adults have symptoms associated with mental ill health.

• Mental illness is the second-largest source of burden of disease in England. Mental illnesses are more common, long-lasting and impactful than other health conditions.

• Mental ill health is responsible for 72 million working days lost and costs £34.9 billion each year.
  Note: Different studies will estimate the cost of mental ill health in different ways. Other reputable research estimates this cost to be as high as £74–£99 billion.

• The total cost of mental ill health in England is estimated at £105 billion per year.

• People with a long-term mental health condition lose their jobs every year at around double the rate of those without a mental health condition. This equates to 300,000 people – the equivalent of the population of Newcastle or Belfast.

• 75% of mental illness (excluding dementia) starts before age 18.
  

• Men aged 40-49 have the highest suicide rates in the UK.

• 70-75% of people with diagnosable mental illness receive no treatment at all.

And what totally gobsmacked me is..........that on average, around 16 people end their own lives every day, that's approximately one person every two hours. (MHF)

So, considering that I was struggling for words, I don't think I've done too badly!😉 Writing this has been upsetting, in more ways than one and I've shared some very personal information about myself, which I would never normally do, and wasn't my intention to begin with, but this seemed the right time and right platform to do so......I just wanted to illustrate we simply don't know what others are going through, whether that be in private or in the public eye as we saw in the media not too long ago. I put a good "show" on social media, but it really isn't the case! We just need to be kinder to one another, and I'm not excluding myself from that statement either!

So I shall finish by saying thank you for taking the time to read my story and thank you in advance for any donations you make big or small, I shall appreciate them all.

Much love and big hugs. Anita.x

 The Mental Health Foundation is the UK’s charity for everyone’s mental health.With prevention at the heart of what they do, the Mental Health Foundation aim to find and address the sources of mental health problems so that people and communities can thrive.