The moment I was told I had secondary cancer is as clear to me now as it was in August 2016. My first thought was for my daughter and of all the important things I was going to miss in her life. 

Over the next few days and weeks everything was numb, chemo started and robbed me of any notion of being positive, strong or brave. It was impossible to think that I'd ever smile or enjoy anything again.

I came to realise that this was not a good way of living the new life I had, for me, or for those close to me. No matter what I did I couldn’t make the fear and uncertainty go away.

Even before my diagnosis I was aware of Maggie’s Edinburgh but now that I was in the position to use it’s facilities I was scared, as to me it was another horrible sign that my life had changed for ever and I was seriously ill.

Jump forward six months, I was still going through chemo treatment and I finally made my first nervous steps inside Maggie’s doors. 

From that moment I felt safe, as if I’d been enveloped in a big warm cuddle. I can’t explain how amazing this first visit was. It gave me the strength to look at the huge range of support facilities that Maggie’s offer. I don’t have the space here to go into them all but they range from Nordic Walking to yoga and art classes, and loads in between. I signed up for the Stress and Resilience course and met a wonderful, empathetic counsellor, who continues to support me to this day. And most precious of all I’ve made life long friends that I met around the infamous kitchen table.