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Our Story,….

In August of this year we found out that my fiancé was expecting our first baby together. I can’t tell you how excited we both were. I couldn’t believe I was going to start a family with the person I love. 

Rae was pretty ill during the whole pregnancy. At first she was admitted to A&E for what the doctors thought was an ectopic pregnancy. She had to have so many tests and I couldn’t be with her because of covid rules but to our relief (at the time) everything was completely fine! She had horrible morning sickness, fatigue, back and stomach pains but we would always joke and say “at least you’re definitely pregnant!!” or “our baby is going to be hard work!!!” 

We went for a scan two days after Rae’s Birthday. On the 9th September we saw a tiny little baby. Rae was so paranoid something would be wrong but we saw the screen and all our worries disappeared, there was a healthy heartbeat, baby was fine!! 

A few weeks later, after Rae found out she wasn’t having another scan till 18th October, we scheduled another one in between. Rae is a worrier and I think we just wanted to see the baby again but Two days before the scan, Rae woke up and said her morning sickness had gone, and that she didn’t really feel tired. She said something was wrong. I thought she was just worrying again. 

When we got to the scan, we knew something was wrong straight away. The lady said the dreaded words “I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat.” and explained that Rae had a missed miscarriage, which means the baby passed away and Rae’s body didn’t give her any signs, it still thought she was pregnant. Rae needed another scan to confirm but they couldn’t fit us in for another 4 days. Knowing our baby had died and Rae had to carry it was the worst feeling we’ve ever felt in our lives.  The scan confirmed our worst nightmare. The hospital explained that Rae would need to pass our baby and the best way would be in hospital, with surgery. Due to covid they had no spaces for the procedure where Rae would be put to sleep, for 2 weeks so we had to choose the option where Rae was awake…. She carried our baby for another week before she could have this. It was unbearable When the procedure came round I was allowed in with her and I can honestly say it was the worst thing I have ever been through in my life, let alone Rae.  

Although the hospital was amazing, they calmed Rae supported us and arranged burial for our baby, we were never given the option to find out why our baby suddenly died. No tests. No explanation. Nothing. One of Tommy’s aims is to help women find out why they’ve had a miscarriage or still birth. at the moment you need to have 3 miscarriages to be offered any extra help/testing!! Tommy’s have also really helped Rae cope with what happened. They have an amazing website offering so much support and also a facebook forum which Rae has really found helpful.

Please even if it’s a £1 I would be really grateful if you donated to my London Half Marathon run, for Tommy’s and in memory of our baby. Thank you.

Alex and Rae.