Story
I volunteer with Calgary Ostomy and the national office of Ostomy Canada Society on the marketing and communications team.
My ostomy is a big part of my identity, as I had my colon removed as a child due to Ulcerative Colitis. Between grade 5 and 6, I was diagnosed and had 3 major surgeries involving a temporary and loop ileostomy, resulting in a more unusual bowel diversion called an Ileoanal Pull-Through. It was a traumatic event for me as my family were in the Jehovah's Witnesses, and I required a blood transfusion. It was not only surviving a near-death experience, but a legal and spiritual battle. I have never met anyone else dealing with such a bizarre situation in the 8 years I have volunteered. I also haven't met too many who had surgery at a very young age. The big difference for surgery at 11 was that I was pre-pubescent, which delayed my growth. I could barely gain weight for a few years and was skin and bones. This made me the target of bullying at school while trying to conceal my bowel incontinence issues. I was full of shame and anxiety and Complex PTSD. I didn't know how to cope, so I often hid in the library.
My childhood trauma led to me being very fearful of ostomy surgery. I had j-pouch revision surgery at 23 and got a Koch Pouch when I was 29. These all failed, so I was forced to get a permanent ileostomy at age 30. Because of all that, I am on the verge of short bowel syndrome. I was in such mental turmoil about my ostomy at the beginning, and the ostomy society played a crucial role in helping me accept my body and bag. I also spent many years in therapy for PTSD and joined support groups for people leaving cults. Thanks to that, I went from suicidal ideation to fully thriving.
Confronting a traumatic past is challenging. I had to stop hiding from awful things that my mind did its best to bury. This involved allowing my wounded inner child to speak and nurturing that part of myself. Essentially, I was able to get in touch with my authentic self. A therapist helped me with this process and encouraged me to connect with nature. I have taken up hobbies like gardening, camping and foraging. I also collect rocks and fossils.
This summer, I spent some time camping in AB and BC and stayed in both campgrounds and on Crown Land. I use a high-output bag, camping potty, and hydration bladder, and I bring extra ostomy supplies and G2. Since I also have MS, I try to do shorter hikes to conserve my energy and maintain my electrolyte levels.
As a child, I was very traumatized and scared to take risks, but at age 42, I am proud that I no longer allow my ostomy or MS to stop me from living to the fullest.
I genuinely believe that ostomates deserve to live life to the fullest, and I ask you to join us as we raise awareness and funds for Ostomy Canada.