Thank you for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

On 14th May 2022 (our six-year wedding anniversary) and two days before Charlotte's planned c-section, we were told the devastating news that no parent should ever have to hear, our son Zander had no heartbeat. 

Zander Edward William Holland, was stillborn on 15th May 2022 at St John's hospital, Livingston. 

He was a healthy baby who sadly didn't make it to this world and he is hugely missed. 

We love him so much and it is beautiful to watch Freddie, our three-year-old, talk so freely and openly about his little brother. Often talking to his friends at nursery about him. 

Life after losing your child is painful, messy and difficult to navigate. Each day is different and often you have no idea what is going on. Unfortunately, baby loss is an awful club to be part of and I wouldn't recommend it. 

Luckily there are incredible charities out there to help guide you and offer support. They work tirelessly to help make it a slightly easier world to live in. 

One such charity, Held in our Hearts, is a local one to us in Edinburgh, and they have been a great support to us over the last few months.  

They offer both baby loss counselling and peer support to families.

The majority of their staff are bereaved parents and so understand the impact of losing a baby. 

They also provide training to midwives and medical students in hospitals to help provide the most compassionate and supportive environments at such a difficult time. 

They are also piloting a new project called Hospital to Home. A project intending to fill the gap in the transfer of bereaved families between hospital and home but providing bespoke and targeting short-term support to families after the devastating loss of their baby. This allows staff to reach into families so they do not have to reach out. 

Nobody ever hopes and thinks they are going to need the use of a charity but then it happens and you are so glad they are there. 

So, I wanted to give something back. Along with a friend, I will be cycling 66 miles (106km) around Loch Ness on 23 April 2023. 

So over the next few months, I will be out in the rain and wind getting those miles in, in training for this sportive. Probably also fueling up on Charlotte's brownies, to help get me around the roads of West Lothian. and Edinburgh. 

If you are able to donate anything towards my cycle and to Held in our Hearts in memory of Zander, I would be so incredibly grateful. 

Thank you so much,

Ted