Story
Hello you beautiful people - thank you for visiting my page.....and of course giving me lots of your lovely dosh!
I am running a marathon in May 2020 in order to raise money for CLEAR Emotional Trauma and Therapy Specialists, who are a Cornish charity based in Truro. Their mission is to prevent, reduce and help children, young people and adults to heal from emotional trauma, in particular trauma that is linked to domestic abuse and sexual violence. More details of their undoubtedly sterling efforts and incredibly important work can be found at - https://clearsupport.net/ .
The Target......
The main target is obviously to raise as much money for CLEAR as is humanly possible. However I also have my own personal target for the marathon itself - of course firstly I want to be able drag my sorry carcass across the finishing line whilst retaining a small modicum of dignity, but after that.....
Eliud Kipchoge’s world record marathon time is 2:01:39, he is an Olympic Gold Medallist and has won 12 out of the 13 professional marathons he has run. Early this year with the help of phalanx of the world’s greatest long-distance runners, a pace car with lasers and a pair of expensive springy shoes he achieved the basically super-human feat of a marathon in 1:59:40. True legend. It is dawning on me now that at the age of 41 I may have missed my chance to match those kinds of stats.
However, if we employ a handicap system as you would do in Golf, maybe then I can beat his time.
Age
EK – 34
MF – 41
2 minutes a year = +14 minutes
Height
EK – 1m 67
MF – 6ft (rounded up)
Don’t understand metric measurements so call it a draw
Weight
EK – 57kg
MF – well *ahem* 90kg give or take….more to the give side
1 minute per kilo = +33 minutes
Professional Training
EK – Yes
MF – read an article '10 things marathon runners get wrong'
16 years of professional training 2 minutes a year = +32 minutes
Altitude Training
EK – Yes
MF – I do not run up hills if I can help it
Altitude deficit – 30 secs per mile = +13 minutes
Marathons Run
KG – 13
MF – 1.75 (marathons walked .25)
Experience deficit @ 1 minute per marathon = +11 minutes
Career High
EK – First man in history to run sub 2hr marathon
MF – That afternoon I accidentally left the top of the tipex….
Winning Mentality +10 minutes
Starting Point
Currently Running
Currently eating crisps on a sofa
Laziness bonus +7 minutes
Therefore - 1:59:40+14+33+32+13+11+10+7 = 3:59:40
So if I can run a 3:59:40 marathon with no laser car, no expensive springy shoes and with the only pacemaker being someone in a novelty fancy dress costume – I win…