I'll never forget October 2015 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer,  I thought it had to be the worst day of my life, however, the next 24 hours proved even worse when I had to look into the eyes of and break the hearts of everyone I loved by telling them. In the early days I was petrified and cried all the time, thoughts of not growing old with my husband, or not being there for my children swamped my thoughts and made me feel absolutely and totally useless, I was facing my own immortality and knew for the first time in my life that I was not in control of this outcome, it was my lowest point.  I had months of treatment to get through including chemotherapy, radiotherapy and a full right breast mastectomy. I had the surgery and this later went wrong meaning I had to have the implant removed, leaving a whooping mess of an uneven scar which is what I live with as my new normal, I still have to wear a 3lb prosthesis  everyday and am limited to what clothes I can wear that won't draw attention.  I'll never forget the early weeks of not knowing whether I would die or not, I was petrified and worried about my kids. My 8 year old twins asked me ''mummy are you going to die?''. Normally I would have said no I can beat anything, however, I could not guarantee this, with help from Macmillan I was advised not to say I will not die, because if I did they might be left with trust issues, in effect I would have lied to them !!! I had not considered this! Macmillan provided support and helped me have positive reassuring conversations with my family. My Macmillan breast cancer nurse Lynette was amazing and there for me at every stage of my treatment, not just for practical support but also for emotional support she always has time to listen and reassure me. All this support made me want to volunteer for Macmillan and I have done so since 2016 and have seen first hand the wonderful services that are provided. 

I returned to work after cancer treatment in 2016 only to be made redundant from my Bank Manager job due to branch closures. I went on to work for the NHS as  Healthcare assistant on the Macmillan Unit at the Blackpool Victoria Hospital and have worked alongside some wonderful compassionate caring people and some of those colleagues will be on this team with me. They work tirelessly and all hours to ensure patients are well looked after and given great care. I have had quite a journey and followed my dream to work for Macmillan of which I fulfilled in November last year. I am not strong or a fighter but I have had a crash course in resilience and chosen to stay positive and live optimistically and in the moment. Please sponsor me and this amazing team even just a couple of pounds, it will be a massive help to patients, friends, families and carers dealing with a cancer diagnosis.