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Some of you will know my story, some of you wont but 2015 was supposed to be the year that I was supposed to have fun, forget all the anxiety issues I'd started having for the previous 6 months and enjoy life! Things haven't quite gone according to plan and here is
an insight into my story this year so far…

February 2015 was a busy month with lots to look forward to including Celtic Manor, baby showers, a work business trip to Qatar and most of all a company 10 year conference to Las Vegas!!!!

Having never been to Vegas before I was excited to experience all the sites and sounds especially as I was booked to go again with the girls in June. Little did I know this would be the start of a long journey.

Friday the 27th February - 24 hours after arriving and having just indulged in the buffet at the Cosmo it was time to experience the rides at the Stratosphere! Although I was very anxious about going on the rides I thought it would be good for my confidence in conquering my anxiety and not being defeatist!

X-Scream - the most terrifying ride I've ever seen 109 stories up! Anyway I managed the ride but shortly after getting off felt sick so went to the toilet followed closely by Karen (my colleague but also close friend and rock during all this). After getting into the loo I remember nothing until I woke up with paramedics around me. It was then I found out I had had my first  seizure.

After being taken to hospital they concluded I had a syncope seizure - effectively a one off episode due to a combination of jet lag, anxiety and dehydration. Whilst I didn't remember anything that happened during the seizure my tongue was bitten badly and I found it difficult to talk and the rest of the trip was a case of making it through to the flight home rather than experience what I had planned. The American doctors suggested I see my own GP when I returned to the UK.

When I returned I was referred to a consultant  at Maidstone hospital in April, I also decided it was best to cancel the trip I had planned to Vegas with my friends in June as wouldn’t know what was wrong with me before the final payment was due!

After about 6 weeks of waiting for my appointment my consultation took place and after doing a few neurological tests and asking me to talk him through what happened in Vegas, the consultant concluded there was no need for a CT scan and it was nothing more than a serious fainting episode! Although I was pleased he didn't feel it was anything serious I still felt anxious and my confidence had been knocked.

It wasn't  until the 8th of June that I had my second seizure. A normal Monday at work in the city and on the train home! I remember suddenly waking up on the train after dozing off and feeling hot and having a weird sensation come over me, then again the next thing I remember was waking up with paramedics around me. Exactly the same thing seemed to have happened, convulsions, eye rolling and tongue biting except this time I was on my own! The train had been stopped at Bromley South and I was taken by ambulance to the local hospital. My mum and sister arrived and after having similar observations and physical neurological tests to what I had had in Vegas and Maidstone, the doctor said that it was probably the same as last time and that due to me living out of catchment they didn't have the funding to give me a CT scan and I should get in touch with my GP to be referred back to Maidstone! I was told at this point though that I was no longer allowed to drive until they were certain what was
causing the seizures! In my mind, and everyone else's, at worse it was going to be epilepsy.

I saw my GP the following day and got an appointment to see the neurologist at Maidstone for the 14th July! I was told this would just be a consultation and that if they felt an MRI or CT scan was needed it would take another 4-6 weeks to be booked in after my appointment.

All of this became irrelevant when on the 29th June at 5pm I was sitting at my desk and suddenly had those strange feelings come over me - those which I now know are called 'auras'! Karen was next to me and having helped me in Vegas was trying to reassure me in what was a much more prolonged build up! After a
minute or so I had my third seizure with again no memory of what happened just being told afterwards it was the same scenario and my tongue was again bleeding where I had bitten it and I had three paramedics around me. I was quickly taken to St Thomas's Hospital in London.

Karen and Tom, my director, accompanied me until my mum and sister arrived! I again had more physical neurological tests all which seemed normal, blood tests
and more but without hesitation this time I was given a CT scan. Shortly after the scan they told me they wanted to do the scan again but this time with dye
inside me as it shows things up more clearly. I knew at this point things weren't necessarily as they should be, however, I had no idea what was coming….

At 3am on the 30th June 2015, exactly one month until I turned 32 I was told that I had a brain tumour! My reaction was blank; I just stared at the doctor trying to understand what he was telling me but realising both my mum and sister were in tears either side of me! The rest I don't remember! It was all too much to digest! I was kept in St Thomas's until Friday that week where they carried out more tests including an MRI and kept a close eye on me! The staff were incomparable to any other doctors or nurses at any of the other hospitals
I had been to so far!

When I was discharged I was told that I would be written to about further tests - a Neuro Psych and a PET scan with another consultation following the results of these two.

Over the next couple of weeks I had the Neuro Psych and PET scan, the steroids were fully kicking in and I was avoiding contact with people I knew as much as
possible due to the physical changes the steroids were causing!  The side affects were awful but I was taking things in my stride. I had to cancel another holiday I had booked for the 22nd July to Marbella and now,
as well as not being able to drive, I was told I had to give up smoking!!!

On the 27th July I had my consultation at Kings College Hospital and finally I would be told an action plan (I hoped).

During the meeting reality finally sank in! I saw my tumour for the first time! A 4cm by 4cm mass on the left hand side of my brain in what they call the 'Temporal Lobe'. This part of the brain is responsible for language and memory and I was told things weren't going to be quite as straight forward as I hoped! My tumour isn't entirely benign which means if it was left it would eventually become more aggressive and cancerous, it is relatively rare and the part of the brain
it is in is very complex! They therefore need to understand as much as they can about the tumour before an operation is done. Everything was very overwhelming and I was told that the affects of the operation could lead to me needing speech therapy and also loss of motor skills in my right hand side which would mean I would need physiotherapy! Whilst I'm young the effects could have a bigger effect on my life and day to day routine! The consultant and my
surgeon seemed confident though and said I would be written to with the next steps but I now had a dedicated team at Kings College London where everything would take place.

The next stage is a language and speech test on the 21st September with  a consultation with my surgeon and from there I may need more tests or, fingers crossed, I will get a date for surgery!

The surgery itself could still be a few months down the line and the scariest part is that because of the area of the brain they are operating on,  I will have to be conscious for part of it!

A long road is ahead of me and I am feeling positive but naturally have some down days! I’m in the process of going back to work and trying to get on with things
until the operation takes place. The last 8 weeks have been difficult to take in and I have had ups and downs with the medication prescribed but generally I
feel my normal self.

The one thing all of this has taught me is how lucky I am to have such an amazing family, friends and colleagues. It's shown me how lucky I am to have the life I have and how keen I am to get my simple day to day routine back! I don't want to get through this and change the world or become something I wasn't before - I just want what I had and to realise what wonderful people I know!

So thank you all for your support, thank you to friends who are more like family, colleagues who are close friends and those of you that I didn't even think would be some of the most supportive people I'd know during this experience. 

UPDATE:

In November 2015, thanks to the brilliant Brainstrust charity, I had a second opinion with Mr Andrew McEvoy at National Hospital Neurology and Neurosurgery (NHNN). After seeing Andrew and hearing his approach, my gut feeling was that I immediately wanted him as my surgeon. By following what needed to be done, in December 2015 I'd moved from Kings College to NHNN. 

On the 18th April 2016 I had my surgery! It all went brilliantly. Andrew was my surgeon along with two others, Matt and Anna. I was awake during surgery, using an iMRI scanner (which NHNN, I believe, are the only hospital in the uk to have). By being awake during the surgery it allowed them to remove more than Kings College said they could do (50%) & they removed 95%, although Andrew thinks it's a bit more.
I've had barely any side effects, just tiredness which is part of recovery and forgetting a name or word every now and then. I am over the moon with the outcome and my amazing surgeon, Andrew McEvoy. I'll never be able to thank Brainstrust enough for putting me in touch with him. 

I'll have to have MRI scans every 6 months to keep an eye on things but the type of Glioma that it is, is low Grade 2 and one that seems to take the longest to ever come back if at all.

I'll support Brainstrust forever by fundraising for them with a special thanks to Helen Bulbeck for her support.

About Brains Trust

When I was diagnosed with my tumour, both myself and my sister were naturally googling as much as we could to find out as much information as possible. My sister got in touch with Brains Trust after reading
‘Megs Story’, the reason the trust was set up. They quickly sent my sister a 'Brain Box’ a parcel packed with information that has helped me loads and also allowed me to know what questions to ask and what information to track.

Each Brain Box costs the charity £50 which is why when my work mentioned about doing some fundraising for me it was easy for me to chose the charity to help.

£5 a collecting tin, posted - These little helpers sit quietly in shops, pubs, cafes and homes around the UK. Just a few text donations will buy a couple of these, so that they can go out, collect more money and then be used to create some of our vital resources such
as...

£50 – 1 Brain Box “Received the Brain Box yesterday – I cried with happiness - what a lovely box of surprises!” - Carer

£300 – 500 1 Meet Up - “This was our first
brainstrust meet up and we were struck by the warmth and openness of this diverse group and to know that we are not alone. Everyone was so willing to share information which is brilliant. Thank you brainstrust team!” – Carer

£5000 - keeping brainstrust.org.uk and braintumourhub.org.uk up to date for one year “I've gained more comfort from your website than anywhere else on the web”- Patient

£120,000 – 24/7 phone and email support brainstrust has been a shining light in my dark days. Just knowing someone is there is real comfort. It’s great to know other people truly understand how hard it is sometimes" Patient

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving – they’ll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they’ll send your money directly to the charity. So it’s the most efficient way to donate – saving time and cutting costs for the charity.