I sadly lost the love of my life and husband of 25 years after a 28 month battle with brain cancer. Dave was only 54 and full of life, he was great fun to be with and the type of person everyone gravitated towards, adults, kids and animals! He always had a tale to tell and had a view on everything.  He was spontaneous, hilarious and a massive practical joker. He was my best friend and I am heartbroken to be without him and can't imagine a time when I won't be.

Dave was initially diagnosed in October 2011 after he was taken into A & E with what we thought was a mini stroke.  It was only because of a scan that we discovered he actually had a brain tumour, a glioblastoma 4, which is a malignant brain tumour and the worst kind, there is no glioblastoma 5. Apparently, many brain tumours are diagnosed in A & E at the point of collapse. Prior to that, he had a couple of episodes where he was sent packing by his GP who gave him a biscuit and a drink of orange and told him he was suffering from stress.  This shows the lack of awareness around this condition.  We were told by the consultant that they could remove it but it would return and probably within a short time, so Dave had the op and chemo and radiotherapy only for it to return a year almost to the day.

The consultant did not want to remove the tumour this time as it had returned quickly and the op may have been dangerous, but Dave being Dave, argued his corner and demanded an op and so he had his second debulking of the tumour in October 2012 with more chemo.  He was scanned every couple of months and this in itself was agonising, waiting for bad news each time.  

In May 2013 we were devastated to learn it had returned and spread to other areas, but an op was definitely out of the question this time as it was now intertwined and impossible to remove, so off we went to the Florida Keys for the very last time with our dearest friends to visit the place we loved best, and where Emma (our daughter) and I would later return to scatter Dave's ashes at his request.  When we returned from Florida Dave started another course of chemo, which was this time really intrusive and made him quite unwell and the scan following this showed no impact on the tumour at all.  So this became the beginning of the end and months of realisation that we needed to prepare for something that no-one of Dave's age and in the prime of his life should have to go through.  Dark days for all of us. Life will never be the same again.

Brain cancer is an evil disease. It is a waking nightmare for the person who has it and the family who have to deal with the consequences. Ultimately it takes away your independence and dignity, fills you with fear and dread and robs you of your quality of life. Dave was an absolute fighter and held onto his independence fiercely for as long he could. He endured 3 operations, 3 rounds of chemo and a course of radiotherapy. This coupled with medication kept him reasonably well for as long as possible and we have many happy memories even through the fear and the worry. 

Whilst Dave was alive he had made notes of how he would fund raise for Brain Tumour Research, but this did not come to fruition as his main focus was to keep himself well and he simply did not have the energy to do both.  So it seemed appropriate to start fundraising ourselves in memory of Dave and his fighting spirit and this began on the day of his funeral.

We managed to raise approximately £1200 on the day of Dave's funeral which was staggering. However there were some requests for a donation site online, so here it is. 

Update April 7th 2014

We have raised over £5000 since January. Over £1200 was raised at Dave's funeral from donations and my brother in law's bright idea of selling badges on the day with Dave's face on - a novel but successful idea! In March, my work colleagues at first direct organised a bake sale and raised a massive £1200 in two days. We were thrilled with this. My family and friends also took part in the Wear a Hat Day posting selfies to facebook and making donations via Dave's link. Even our dog Harry participated.

My mate Amanda Stead took part in the gruelling Yorkshire Warrior with her husband Nige on Saturday 12th April and donated the proceeds to Brain Tumour Research via Dave's justgiving link. Amanda raised a staggering £350!

For those who don't know, it is 16 tough kilometres across the Yorkshire countryside with hills, bogs, 200m river walk, 1km underground tunnel (yes, you read that right…. one full kilometre underground!!) fire, ice bath, barbed wire, electric fence, crawling, climbing, log carrying, pressure washer firing range plus lots more! Mental! What a girl. In addition she came away with an injury which took 5 weeks to heal.

 my sisters in laws and Dave's sisters Lynne Hoyle and Christine Hepworth completed the Great Manchester 10k to raise money for this cause. This also happened to be hottest day of the year so far and the first time either of them had run any kind of race.  No mean feat but they did it and made great time! They raised over £1000 between them, just brilliant!  Our next challenge was the 5k Race for Life on June 1st. I ran this along with Emma Scott, Stephanie Dilnot, Bryony Dilnot, Louise Garner, Rachel Binks, Annette Blythe, Lynne Hoyle, Christine Hepworth and Laura Hepworth.  A hot, emotional day, but well worth it as raised an extraordinary amount of money.

On Friday 8th August Jade Helliwell hosted a charity event to raise money for Brain Tumour Research UK in memory of Dave. It was held at The Comrades club in Heckmondwike. Jade played along with her full band, and four other artists/bands, all giving their time for free. There was a raffle and an auction and not only was it a great night but we managed to raise a staggering £1353.94!  There was lots of involvement behind the scenes and many individuals and local and national businesses gave their time and products and services to help us raise the money.  A resounding success!  

Lesley Shotton completed a dry January, and donated her sponsorship money, thanks Lesley. Bridie Rees held a cake and coffee open house for us. People have done ice bucket challenges, donated money instead of sending Xmas cards, no make-up selfies, raffles, shook collection buckets and just donated money to help the cause.  The support has been amazing.

What's next?

ew of us are signing up for the 5k Race for Life in Wakefield and are hoping for enough sponsorship to get us up to the 10k mark by the end of the year.

BTR launched a Wall of Hope at the Brain Tumour Research Centre of Excellence at the University of Plymouth.  The Wall marked the launch of Brain Tumour Research's national £7m 'Centres of Hope' fundraising campaign to raise £7m per year for seven Centres of Excellence to get closer to and ultimately find a cure for brain tumours. To sustain the long-term peer-reviewed research at the Centre of Excellence in the University of Portsmouth they need to continue to provide £1M a year in funds.Over the course of the 365 days per year, that's a target of £2,740 per day.

 We have now raised enough to sponsor three days of research in Dave’s name and so his name will be displayed on three tiles on the Wall of Hope, nominating 15th October 2014 as this would have been our 26th wedding anniversary and 7th March 2015 as that would have been Dave's 56th birthday. Also 9th January as that was the day Dave lost his fight. We aim to go to London next year to view the tiles in the new London university research centre and I have been asked to attend the opening ceremony. We have received engraved plaques in recognition of our support.  What a fitting memory to Dave that we can help to improve treatments and ultimately find a cure for brain tumours. 

                 Please donate.

Brain tumour research receives less than 1% of the national cancer spend, despite more children and adults under 40 dying of a brain tumour than any other cancer.

 My worst nightmare is that another family have to endure the heartbreak we have suffered and will continue to suffer for a long time.  Unless we raise more money to find a cure for this horrible disease, this will be someone else's reality. 

Brain tumours research receives less than 1% of the national cancer spend, despite more children and adults under 40 dying of a brain tumour than any other cancer.

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