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Hiyas People,

Right where do I start, well for me the journey Team LJM is about to go on started for us at 11-45 p.m. on the 17th Dec 2009 when I got a phone call to say Dad had cancer and it was in his esophagus and he had secondaries in the spine so I dropped everything and went to Mums.

Dad being Dad he thought he was curable he even booked his ticket to go back to work in China thats where he had been working for the last 2 years so we had what was our last xmas as a whole family as we all hoped he would get through the cancer with treatment,goodwill and courage.

Dad came home on the 19th Dec after only god knows how he did the 14 hr flight as he was in agony but Dad was a true fighter he rarely took time off with being ill he called it swinging the lead lol.

I saw Dad on the sunday and I thought OMG as he was half the size he was and the last time I saw him was in Sept but he said I am going to get better so dont worry.

 

Well xmas came and went and the realities of the cancer soon started to set in as Mum had to give up the job she just found as Dad needed care 24/7 he was poorlier than we first thought and it did not look good as Dad went for more tests we realised that his cancer was more advanced than first thought but Dad being him he kept plodding on.

Well things went a bit downhill when we were told Dad was treatable not curable and we were told he had 2 yrs or more and with Chemo and Radion it should help reduce the tumours that he has got it was about this time we were introduced to St Wilfrid's Hospice Cancer Care Team and her name was Sarah Bell and she was a brilliant lifeline as at this time it was a very dark time for all of us seeing your Dad go from working 24/7 to not even be able to send an email or a text so Sarah was a godsend and so was the Hospice's team.

 

Well Dad took a turn for the worse where he could not swallow nomore and was admitted to QA in Cosham but the Hospice were still in constant contact with all of us and Sarah was fighting to get Dad transferred to there as QA is a good 40 minute drive away but the Hospice was only 20 in bad traffic.

Dad got transferred on the Thursday he called it the hotel lol well if he buzzed they came to his aid straight away which was a relief as its hard when you are laying in your bed at home of a night wondering if he is ok but we went home knowing he was being looked after.

I don't know if you know but the Hospice looked after us aswell as Dad if We needed a shoulder to cry on they were there if we wanted a cup of tea they said help yourself and on a couple of occasions they fed me wish I thought you did not have to but thank you.

 

On the night he passed away was very hard because just 24 hrs past he was laughing and joking with us all and his family he had a feeding tube put in to make him a bit stronger for Chemo and he kept sayin blend me up a korma and go get me a beer we were all cracking up at the thought of it.

The Hospice were brilliant that night they opened up a room next door for us so we were not stuck in the hallway and we had as many family members there as we wanted and if we wanted to talk to the staff they were there even if it was where is the sugar? I even remember one of the staff going through all the cupboards looking for some Earl Grey tea cos thats all Mum could stomach so thats how caring the staff were.

When Dad passed away in the early hours of 3rd Feb 2010 they said there is no rush take your time I personally did not feel like I was on a conveyor belt as if to say Dads gone off you go we were told to come back at about 10 in the later in the morning.

We got to the Hospice and Dad has got a big family so we sat in a big room and we were made a lovely cup of tea and we were left to chill a bit and the Drs and Nurses were all stunned that Dad had died so quick as they all thought 8 months to 2 years but in the end it was 5 weeks in total from the time we found out to the day Dad died.

We went in and saw him and the nurse even put his socks on as he always hated having cold feet it was nice even though his room was cold but we were warned what to expect it was nice to see Dad had been washed and his new PJs were on him for once in 6 weeks he looked at peace and all the strain had been taken away.

The nice thing also was that the staff had packed up his stuff and any stuff that needed washing had been washed so we did not need to do it and we were told we are only a phone call away or just pop in and the nice thing was we were told about how to break the news to the grandchildren and what books to read and what websites to look at and I know that Sarah is always in contact with Mum to see how we are all doing and if there is anything she and the Hospice can do for us.

 

Well a few days passed and we were all having a family pow wow and we were shocked to learn that hospices only get 15% funding from the government and when we heard this we were disgusted because the care Dad got and the support we have been given has been second to none and when we heard that the St Wilfid's Hospice is doing a Walk to raise funds so they can operate and give others the same care and support we jumped at the chance to do it I know we are going to be tired and have achey bones the next day but it will be worth because trust me speaking from experience you don't know if you will ever need a Hospice's support and care well Dad was 56 when he passed so it's food for thought.

 

Thanks for taking time to look and read OUR page and with everyone's help we hope to make a small difference to people's lives.

 

Thanks Again

 

TEAM LJM

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