Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

1st June 2014

Sherry Tickner passed away in the early hours of June 1st 2014. We have missed her for years and now she is free from pain, suffering and unhappiness which is a relief for all of us.

We raised funds on this page via a Summer Ball last year and we transformed the Garden at Elmwood Ward for Mum and all of the patients there. We also raised money for the Contented Dementia trust. If you would like to raise more then please make your donation on this page again.

May 2013

I am raising money for SPECAL because their method which I learned on a one day course at their centre and their book Contented Dementia were very helpful to me. I believe that they also helped my family to make my mother's life just a little bit better for a short time before she had to go into hospital permanently suffering from Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. 

I am also raising money to transform the Garden at Elmwood Ward, Parklands Hospital where my mother now lives.

Many families and friends of dementia patients don't realise that the ways that they try to assist the dementia sufferer make the situation worse for that person and for others around them. Well-meaning actions such as pointing out mistakes (however kindly); speaking slowly and treating them like children and always letting them know when they appear to have "forgotten" something may seem like the sensible things to do but they can be very damaging. The SPECAL methodology is all about putting yourself in the place of the dementia sufferer and has 3 main rules:

1. Don't ask direct questions (eg requiring an immediate yes/no answer)

2. Don't interrupt

3. Don't contradict

The reasoning behind these rules was built up over years of working with dementia sufferers and seeing them struggle with their disease, knowing that they are deteriorating and being unsure what is going on. As a result they lose their confidence and become very embarassed when they perceive themselves to have done something silly/dangerous/inefficient. For example:

- How would you feel if it had taken you half an hour to string together the confidence to say something you hoped was right and then someone interrupted you and disagreed? Would you feel like saying anything again?

- How would you feel if you knew that almost everything you said or did seemed wrong and someone was asking you if you wanted a drink? Yes or No? If you can't remember what a drink is but you don't want to look stupid then you will probably dither or lash out.

- How would you feel if you had almost finished packing for your holiday; put your case by the door and were emptying all the drawers in the house to find your passport when someone came in and asked you what on earth you were doing; unpacked the case and told you there was no holiday and that you were always creating more work for them to do?

Simple things like:

- Indirect questions:Shall we have a nice cup of tea?

- Being allowed to finish what you are saying and not being interrupted but encouraged to talk a bit more about your friend that you saw yesterday (who actually died 10 years ago)

- Being given your passport and seeing your case put in the car for "when you go tomorrow" and then being distracted with favourite activity or a sandwich  (with the case then unpacked later and put away when you can't see it and after you've forgotten all about it).

SPECAL acknowledge that all of these things place a burden on the carer/carers to play the part of the person who has made the mistake "silly me of course I left the car keys in the garden" or "of course I forgot to turn the iron off" and that it can mean more work. However the benefits of the dementia sufferer not retreating into themselves or becoming angry all the time and also the ability to be able to manage them and their problem outweigh any additional work. Once the initial changes are made they become much easier to put into practice. In addition SPECAL encourage carers to find help and ensure they get some time off every week in order to ensure they have a life of their own however minimal.

I encourage all families and friends of dementia sufferers to read "Contented Dementia" and to attend a SPECAL course - 1 day courses are available. I hope that by raising some money for the Contented Dementia Trust, more people can benefit from learning the SPECAL methodology and that this will help me focus on something positive in relation to my mother's illness. 

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving – they’ll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they’ll send your money directly to the charity and make sure Gift Aid is reclaimed on every eligible donation by a UK taxpayer. So it’s the most efficient way to donate - I raise more, whilst saving time and cutting costs for the charity.

So please dig deep and donate now.