On the 13th of April 2022, our beautiful 14-year-old son Julian (known to everyone as Jools) took his own life.

There are no words to describe how devastated we are. Jools was our world, and we continue to struggle with coming to terms without him in our lives. He was an intelligent, adventurous, and fun-loving boy who was always quick to smile - and always ensured he made others smile (and laugh a lot!) too. His death came entirely out of the blue and has left his family, friends, and our entire community totally shocked.

There were absolutely no warning signs. He was a regular teenager who rarely appeared stressed or anxious about anything. And perhaps more significantly, we talked about everything, openly discussing topics such as drugs, sex, and alcohol. We spoke about bullying and internet safety and believed he knew that he could come to us if anything was troubling him.

What did we miss? Was there something we could have said or done that would have prevented his death? It now seems we will never get the answers to these and so many other questions that we have.

We are determined that something meaningful should come from his death. To make this happen we decided to set up fundraising as ‘Pinky Promise’ in his memory.  

The name ‘Pinky Promise’ stems from something Ellen and Jools did when promising to tell the truth to each other, linking their little (pinky) fingers together to seal the promise, no matter what was asked.  It allowed them to connect with each other honestly, openly, and safely, and discuss anything however uncomfortable or difficult.

We initially decided to set up our own charity and then we came across PAPYRUS, a UK charity dedicated to the prevention of suicide and the promotion of positive mental health and emotional well-being in young people.  They are already doing things we wanted to do and it seemed pointless to set up a new charity, therefore Pinky Promise now raises funds to support this amazing charity. 

Suicide is the biggest killer of people aged 35 and under in the UK. We believe that suicide is preventable and through our partnership with PAPYRUS we aim to support children, young people and their families to reduce this awful statistic as much as possible.

PAPYRUS was founded in 1997 by a group of bereaved parents, who had each lost children to suicide. Our founding parents shared core beliefs that suicide is preventable, and that those of us with lived experience of suicide have a valuable and unique contribution to make to the wider conversation around suicide.

Since then, PAPYRUS has grown into a UK-wide charity with offices in northwest England, south west England, West Midlands, London, Northern Ireland, north Wales, south Wales, and Scotland.

We've been blown away by the love and kindness we have been shown to date following Jools’ passing, not just from family and friends but from people up and down the country and abroad. So many wonderful people want to help and have asked to donate money. This page has been set up for anyone who wishes to make a contribution and help in Jools’ memory.

This will be his legacy. For a beautiful life lived, that tragically ended way, way too soon.

With our continued love and thanks to you all,

Ellen and Matt. (Mum & Dad)