Jonah's Story

On Saturday the 28th May 2011 at 5:20am, I was exactly 41 weeks pregnant when the twinges I had been feeling all night suddenly became very strong, back-to-back contractions. After numerous frantic phonecalls to my parents and the hospital I arrived at the labour ward and was found to be 5cm dilated. We were so excited and couldn't wait to meet our little man, a little brother for our first born, Lucas. By lunchtime however, after nearly 20 hours of contractions I hadn't progressed any further than 5cm. The decision was made to start using a hormone called Syntocinon to speed up labour and this was infused at 4pm. The midwife broke my waters and noticed there was Merconium present. Surprisingly, this wasn't a concern to the staff and they insisted I continue to labour naturally. Shortly after 4;30pm I was examined and much to my delight I was fully dilated. At last, I could meet my baby. Despite having a very strong urge to push I was left to have a "passive hour" for a further hour and 30 minutes. I pushed with all my strength for over an hour but much to my dismay my contractions ceased and baby would not progress down the birth canal. Still, the staff insisted I deliver naturally. Suddenly I felt a jolt through my entire body. Almost immediately I felt the most intense searing pain through my stomach. I urged the staff to help me but they insisted the pain was "Breakthrough contractions". It continued unwavering and made me sick and faint. Unfortunately my uterus had ruptured and I started to bleed internally. I quickly became very ill and weak, in massive pain and distress and drifting in and out of consciousness. Despite my concerns and objections the hospital staff ignored me and unbelievably they still insisted on continuing with a vaginal birth. They were even considering a 'Forceps delivery'. I pleaded for a caesarean and cried that I was dying. I couldn't breathe and struggled to remain conscious. The staff became increasingly annoyed with me but they were unalarmed by my symptoms. More than an hour after my uterus split I had lost consciousness....still my condition was not a concern to the staff at the hospital. Barely conscious and not strong enough to even say my name I said my goodbyes and waited to die.

My entire uterus and womb had torn causing the placenta to tear away; The baby's chest and tummy were hanging out of my womb amongst my organs. My beautiful baby boy was slowly suffocating. Only after his heartbeat could no longer be detected did the midwife contact a consultant for advice. Thankfully he came to my aid immediately and started to operate on me. He delivered my baby by emergency caesarean weighing a whopping 9lb 4oz. He was perfect and still had plump, flushed cheeks. My family were notified that attempts were being made to resuscitate baby. Nothing of my trauma or condition was mentioned. As I had lost a massive 3.5litres of blood (7 pints) I was also being rescusitated.

Baby didn't make it.

I spent nearly two days sedated in Intensive Care before I was considered strong enough to learn the full tragic truth. My poor parents and partner had to break the news to me. I was devastated. My family were not made aware of the grave danger I had been in for a full week after the event and we were kept in the dark about just how close I had come to death. I was allowed to hold my precious little boy. We decided to name him Jonah. We had chosen this name soon after our 20 week scan when we learnt we were expecting a brother for Lucas. He was 57cm in length with a mass of auburn hair and long, delicate fingers. There was not a single thing wrong with him...just perfect. I think I cried my heart out.

Soon after leaving the IC unit my partner and I were given a box. It contained a hand-knitted blanket, a teddy bear, a tape measure (marked out with Jonah's length & head circumference), some photographs of Jonah and his hand and foot prints. There was also lots of information about the help and support that was available to us and how we were to proceed with Jonah's burial etc. Nothing could have taken our pain away at that time but the kindness shown by complete strangers in a time of such angst and distress was like being shown a light again. Small comfort, big impact.

We wrapped Jonah in the blanket and laid him in a moses basket with his teddy. We kept him in our room with us while we were in the hospital. We were allowed to hold him and kiss and cuddle him. Some people may have been distressed by this but to us he was still our precious baby boy and I felt sure that if I cuddled him long and hard enough he would open his eyes and breathe again. Eventually we took him home to the Chapel of Rest 12 days after his birth. We should have been taking our gorgeous boy home to show him off to family and friends but instead we were handing him over to the funeral director's and discussing coffins and hymns. The most heartbreaking thing I have ever had to do.

Why am I telling you this? What do I hope to achieve?

It is certainly not my intention to cause any upset. The box that was presented to us shortly after Jonah's birth was part of a service provided by the charity SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Deaths charity). Each box costs SANDS approximtely £15 to donate but this kindness shown by complete strangers helped to make sense of what had happened and made things just a little bit more bearable. If I can raise enough money for just one keepsake box to help just one more family feeling our pain then I will have achieved. The reverberations of losing a baby are so much more far-reaching than anyone can ever imagine and it impacts everybody differently. Unfortunately, Stillbirths and Neonatal deaths are an everyday occurance; 17 babies are stillborn or die within 28 days of birth EVERYDAY. That's 34 parents suffering my pain. That's more grandparents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties and friends than we can comprehend. We need to raise awareness and help families deal with their loss.

My family had opportunities to bond with our baby and say goodbye properly. Opportunities that weren't available even 20 years ago. SANDS works hard to give everybody these opportunities and to help people grieve. This is so important to everybody affected by the death of a precious baby, whatever the circumstances.

Thank you.

Thank you for making a donation, every penny is vital. Thank you for talking to your friends about it, raising awareness is just as important as raising money. Thank you for giving your suggestions about fundraising ideas, any tips and support you can offer are always welcome. Most of all, Thank You for taking the time to read my story. I wish I didn't have to write such heartbreaking words, I wish I could post pictures of my bouncing baby boy with his first tooth and cheeky grin. I wish I was complaining of sleepless nights and nappy rash but all I have are dreams of what could have been. It is now my duty to ensure less and less families suffer the tragedy we have. It is my job to ensure women have the right to be heard and choose their method of delivery. This is Jonah's plight.

In memory of Jonah

Santa Letters
I am now working with Santa to ensure that your precious little ones receive personalised replies when they write a letter to Santa Claus this Christmas. Once your little treasures have compiled their wishlist for Santa put it in an envelope and send it to:

Santa Claus,

C/O Santa's Little Helper,

34 Poppyfields,

Marehay, DE5 8JJ.

Be sure to include a return address and make sure your child includes their name (Sounds obvious but they often forget!). You can also include other personal details about any special achievements or ways in which your child has been particularly good or even the name of their friend and Santa will write about these in his reply.

You can either pay by donating via this website (Include your full name and quote SANTA when donating online) or send a cheque made payable to SANDS. Letters are £5 (£3 for additional siblings) and ALL money goes to SANDS. For further details contact me on facebook, 07970 149 593 or via email: KtLouChell@tiscali.co.uk

Walking with Angels Candlelit Walk & Christmas Fayre

Sunday 11th December 2011 @ Lumb Farm Country Club

4-9pm

An evening of Family Entertainment including a Bouncy Castle, Face Painting, Raffle, Games, Gift Stalls, Cake Stalls, Live Music AND even a visit from Santa Claus himself! All money raised will go to SANDS. Tickets are £5 for Adults £2 for Under 12's.

Anyone wishing to join the candlelit walk and light a candle for their loved ones and lost angels are welcome to join us on Ripley Market Place at 3pm. The walk will commence shortly after everybody arrives.

For further details or ticket enquiries contact me on 07970 149 593 or KtLouChell@tiscali.co.uk

Keep checking this page for updates on Jonah's Plight, Fundraising Activities and to see how your money is helping other people.

Love and warm wishes, Katie. Xx