Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

In 2017 I will be running the Brighton marathon for Mind in
order to raise awareness for mental health.  The reason I have chosen to run for Mind is because this year I became ill with Bi Polar disorder. I think the best way to start this story is at the
beginning.

So 2016, let’s be honest has been awful. January, Bowie dies, from there on everyone knew it was going to be a struggle, but for me it was strange because my life just seemed to get better and better. I never thought that anything was wrong with me, I was just happy, and that’s all I ever wanted to be, is happy.  When it came to about the middle of March,this joy and euphoria peaked for me, everything I did was quicker, colours were brighter, sounds louder, my thoughts, my speech was rapid and my ideas were far too fast to catch , and it was hard to control.

There came a week when it all became clear, not for me, I never once thought that I was ill, because I never thought this happiness and clarity could be an illness, but for my friends and family, they knew something was not right with me,(looking back on it, I think the shaved head might of gave it away), but that’s ok, if there’s anyone out there who is struggling with mental health or has struggled with mental health, one thing I have learnt throughout this experience is that it is ok not to be ok.

Anyway, there was this one evening after a rather eventful week which lead to a rather event eventful football game I came home and my mum and dad had a conversation with me trying to help me understand that I needed help, and I laughed it off.  It only hit me when my mum started to cry, because there’s one thing in life you never do and that is to make your mum cry.

Together we then sought help and the help I received from both the rapid response team and early intervention team saved me from a very dark place, which I am eternally grateful for. After a few rather funny trips to the doctors I was diagnosed with Bi Polar Disorder. I think the best way to describe Bi Polar is that it’s a swing you don’t really want to be on, you go one way and then you’ve got to come back, when you’re high it’s incredibly dangerous and when you’re low, it’s probably even worse, so with the nature of Bi Polar, when there was a high there had to be a low, and the lows were the worse period of my life.

I never wanted to do anything, everything I did was slow and unimportant, there was a blanket of darkness over me and it seemed that all hope was gone. I missed the remainingweeks of university forcing me to extend my deadlines for 2017 and because of this, I did not graduate with my fellow classmates. I missed a good month  and a half of work. Then this spiral of

decline lead to thoughts of suicide, which I am not afraid to admit to because it was a part of my illness, but I am so lucky because with the help of my friends and family, (you all know who you are) those horrible and awful ideas went away.

It’s amazing what such little things people did for me which helped me fight the depression side of Bi Polar. Going out to walk my dog with someone to talk to, jogging with someone by my side, playing football, going record shopping, even just going for a coffee or a ten minute chat, it made the world of difference. I now like to think that I have been stable and clear of Bi polar, for a good few months.

Essentially, I got ill and now I am better, and now I want to help raise awareness for mental health. People are afraid to admit to having a mental illness, and its especially prominent in young men, I hope anyone reading this won’t hesitate to seek help when they need it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, the brain is a muscle and it needs care. 1 in 4 of us experience a mental health problem each year, I know of a lot of people who have suffered with mental illness, and now it is time to speak up.

By raising money for Mind, more people with mental health
problems get the support they need and the awareness and respect  they deserve. Thank you for reading my short
novel and I’ll try my best not to be that dick that has to tell everyone about
every run they do.

FTD.