Slammer time!

 

On Thursday 15 November I’ve been summoned to appear at Manchester Police Museum court where I will be collared, nicked, busted, and charged with a list of spurious crimes I’ve never committed in my life.

  

Like Billy Joel once said "I am an innocent man" or as the songsmith Shaggy put it; "It wasn't me." 

I will be booked-in by Edwina Currie and tried by The President of Manchester Law Society; Judge Jeff Lewis!!!

 

Unlike the other defendants on trial that day (charged with crimes against fashion, hair, and supporting a terrible football team), I am innocent! Whatever trumped-up charges they come up with will never stick – which is why I have decided to defend myself! I can’t afford a decent brief because any money I raise is going straight to charity… and yet I need an escape plan because the 15 November is my wedding anniversary and I need to get out of the clink and back to the old ‘ball and chain’. Also, I don’t like porridge.

 

Basically I need bail money and I need it fast! Please sponsor me and help the Red Cross make a difference to people’s lives… 

 

The world is a better place because of the Red Cross... but there is still work to be done! I know that your donation today will keep someone alive tomorrow... and it's not every day you get the chance to save someone's life. Whether it's through life-saving first aid training here in the UK or life-saving food parcels/aid overseas - you really do have the power to make the world a better place. Please be as generous as you can afford to be - there truly are people who need it more than you.

Thank you,

Stephen

click here to see just some of the ways the Red Cross is saving lives and changes lives overseas and over here every single hour of every single day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF_gy404EOo

  

As an added incentive... if you sponsor me you are able to add a crime to my charge sheet! If you would like to suggest something I'm guilty of (!) please e-mail Jo Allot  jallott@redcross.org.uk with a short sentence describing the crime AND... if you have more time on your hands than a man doing a long stretch for crimes he never committed - then you can provide a witness statement with details of what you saw and when... but, as the Manchester band The Doves sang "I'm the greatest denier."