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For a while now you may have noticed how over the years that previously athletic icons of Telford are getting fatter.Phillip Atkins one time porn star and lifeguard at Oakengates Leisure Centre.....Fat!! Gary Richards groupie to such boybands as Five and Blue....Positively Porky!!And Micky Grass who found fame modelling Y Fronts for John Justins ,now modelling ground sheets for Milletts.

It's time to get fit not fat.After consultation with Nasa engineers 15 bikes of steel forged by Thor himself have been created .15 fat blokes who are old enough to know better will now cycle 150 miles Coast 2 Coast across the country,battling baboon bottom,angry nut rot and fat blokes crotch fungi all with the aim of raising £1,000 for Cancer Research.

Which sane woman will be able to resist paying to see the following fat blokes in lycra:

The Richards Brothers (Dave,Gary & Stewart)Once rivals to New Kids On The Block, now 3 old blokes with some breeze blocks.

Rob Holding Child star of the Tarzan Movies, now too fat to climb a tree.

Mark Fudge Shot to fame as Clint Eastwood's side kick in Every  Which Way But Loose,now spends more time combing his arse than his head.

John Owens Found fame in Acapulco, Mexico as a famous cliff diver,now famous in McDonalds Donnington for diving over the counter and superglueing his lips to the Mcflurry machine.

Lexi Boyd Toured with River Dance in 1987,now just a fat bloke in cloggs.

Dave Bould Rumoured to be Lady Di's first love,now the secret lover of Susan Boyle.

Mick Grass Once the body double of David Hassellhoff ,most recently rejected as being too fat to double up for Christopher Biggins and Rusty Lee.

Phillip Atkins Recently labelled the Fat Gigolo by the tabloids following rumoured affairs with Graham Norton,Will Young and Michael Barrymore.

Martin McNulty A fat freak of nature he recently appeared in a double episode of channel 4's Embarrassing Bodies.

Si Broad  Newport's first male glamour model ,still rumoured to be popular with young farmers despite struggling to bend over and touch his toes.

Andrew Henshall Sadly in a desperate attempt to retain his youth the monkey glands transplanted by a Bolivian Doctor bloated him to 18 stone and had unexpected hormonal affects.He now answers to the name Fat Glenda.

Nigel Preece Telfords first lottery winner who squandered his fortune on sherbert dib dabs and pukka pies.

Patrick Mcnulty  Proud of his Irish heritage Patrick drinks 42 litres of Heinz Potato Big Soup and 18 pints of Guiness each day

SPECIAL THANKS TO RAY HALL OF SJ PRODUCTS TOOL& DIE LTD,TRENCH LOCK TELFORD WHO HAS DONATED £250!!!! CHEERS RAY.

 

 

 

 

 

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