Dear all,

On a dark night in late November I sat in my room and I wrote my suicide letter. I didn't want to be here anymore.

Since that moment, I've had to rebuild my life, brick by brick, day by day. Deciding to share my battle with depression publicly  by  writing  and  publishing it as an eBook was  probably one of  the hardest things i've  done. Over the last 5 months, I've been giving my all to raising awareness of mental health and sharing my story in the hope that it will help someone out there in a similarly dark place to the one I found myself in.

However, it's got to the stage now where i'd really like it to push on and take off and to do this full-time, to reach as many people as possible. I could not be more passionate about this and believe it can have a life-changing effect. I'd like to expand what I've created. Built from absolute rock bottom, it's been an upward journey to get it where it is now. I've been lucky enough to have been live on Sky Sports News and on the radio, but I've got to earn a living too.

Within the next few weeks and months, I have these key visions and aims but I  will  need  financial  backing  to  help  me  achieve  them;

-Make  a  documentary or  video  about  my  story  (BBC  3  declined  my  offer  because  i'm  not  a  'celebrity',  so  it would have to be  a  case  of  working with a local film  company) to explore the lack of professional help given to me and many others. I believe this would have the ability to reach a lot of people and give hope to those struggling today.

-Create  a  website  documenting  resources  to  help  people,  updates  on  what  i'm  doing  and  a regular blog

-Set  up  a  podcast;  travelling  around  the  country  and  talking  to  as  many  people  as  I  can  about  mental  health,  would  hopefully  have  some  inspiring  guests.  I  would  need  to  invest  resources  such  as  a  microphone  etc  to  make  this  the  best  I  can as well as expenses

-Book  launch.  My  paperback  will  be  out  in  the  Autumn  and  i'd  like  to  organise  launches  in  several  locations  to,  again,  reach  as  many  people  as  possible.  My  story  is  a  very  real  and  very  honest  one which has the capacity, I believe, to reach people from all walks of life.

-Continue  to  do  talks  in  schools;  I  don't  charge  for  these  as  i'm  not  a  professional  speaker  and  don't  want  to  put  unnecessary  pressure  of  schools  or  have  the  cost  put  them off.

-Personally, i'd like to change the Education System to incorporate compulsory mental health awareness for both students and teachers, the Mental Health System, the ensure people don't fall through the gaps as I did and to make mental health training a compulsory part of coaching qualifications. I will need help, both financially in travelling to/from meetings but also any relevant contacts  that  could  help  out would be much appreciated.

For the last  18  months  i've  lacked  all  purpose  and  worth.  In  doing  what  i'm  now  doing,  I  am  finally  no  longer  fearing  the  future,  but  excited  for  it. Any  help  in  any  way (financially,  connections,  advice) is  much  appreciated,  genuinely,  and  I  just  hope  that  I  can  make  a  positive  impact  in  the  future.