One morning in 2011 I noticed my heart rate was faster than normal. I decided a trip to the doctors was needed. On this first visit I was started on medication to slow my heart down and a referral to the hospital was done. At this point I never knew my life was going to change for ever. I was advised I needed a catheter ablation on my heart to get it beating more normally. The first was unsuccessful and all I gained was 2 blood clots on my lung.This was the first of my 7 ablations...5 in Eastbourne and 2 in London. After my 5th ablation in August 2013 my heart decided to stop. I then had my first pacemaker fitted. After many complications, new leads added and new devices due to a serious infection called endocarditis, I am now on pacemaker number 7 too.
In December 2015 I was driving when I blacked out at the wheel. This lead to me losing my driving licence. This was the biggest blow of my life. I relied on my car so much due to limited mobility. This is when my current condition started. I woke up one morning after the accident having had enough. Mental health conditions are something people don't like talking about but they can creep up on anyone at anytime. I had been through so much but my strength had finally been taken away from me.
Since December 2015 I have been admitted to mental health hospitals multiple times due to suicidal thoughts and behaviours. I feel out of control completely. I have had 4 months of health psychology on the NHS and am on medication to try and help. I have a community psychiatric nurse and care coordinator who I see fortnightly to try and keep me safe. I am awaiting an MRI on my brain to see if my repeated cardiac arrest or the accident has affected my brain but the main treatment I need is an 18 week program of Dialectical Behavior therapy (DBT). There is a 12 month minimum NHS waiting list so I'm investigaving private treatment to help me stay safe and alive. Each day is a challenge so a year is an unimaginable wait.