In 2019, my pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 3 months. After leaving hospital, I found that support was non-existent. I felt alone in coming to terms with what had happened - and my mental health suffered. I was so low - I was having suicidal thoughts - and was prescribed anti-depressants. I searched online and found a support group, ‘Coping And Living with Miscarriage’ or ‘CALM’ in Nordelph - and attended a meeting. I cried all the way through, but finally felt supported, as I was with others who knew my pain. Fast forward a year, and after counselling, and help from the support group, I'm coping much better with my loss, and I can look back and see where early support and information would have made things easier - and am motivated to take action to help others going through the same pain.

I’m the chairperson for CALM. I’m often asked about my story. What brought me here? Why do I speak up about pregnancy loss? I often just give the same answers like ‘it should be talked about’ ‘it’s not a taboo subject’ etc. I’d like to say I believe that 100% of the time but I can’t. Sometimes I don’t want to talk about it. Sometimes it’s just too hard. Sometimes I want to pretend it’s not happened to me. But it has. I am 1 in 4. I am the face of someone that has not lost 1 baby but several. The loss in 2018 hit me the hardest. I watched her grow, I saw her heartbeat several times. It still haunts me and probably always will. I never expected to hear those words ‘I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat’. Those words broke me. I am forever changed. I, however, refuse to let that define me. I may be 1 in 4 but I am still me. That is why I decided to turn this heartbreak into something positive by helping other bereaved parents like myself that found there wasn’t a lot of support after pregnancy loss. I have raised thousands of pounds so far towards services to improve, highlight and rectify this gap in lack of care for early losses.