For those of you that dont know me, let me introduce myself. My name is Sinead, I am a wife and a very proud mum of two boys Calum and Ellis.

I am hoping to raise money for two very deserving charities, I am holding my Giving Back Gala Saturday 16th November, I promise it will be a night to remember, I have spent so much time planning every detail but for those who can not make it and wanted to donate I have set up this page. Let me tell you a little about each of the charities and then I will tell you about why I am doing this.

Sands exists to reduce the number of babies dying and to support anyone affected by the death of a baby, before, during or shortly after birth, whenever this happened and for as long as they need support.Babies are dying every day. Currently in the UK, 13 families a day suffer the heartbreak of losing their baby before, during or shortly after birth. That’s around 4,500 babies a year. And at least 15% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. These numbers are shocking and show the scale of the problem. Currently, far too many babies die without scientists, doctors, midwives, or their own parents understanding why. That’s why we believe research is vital in improving our understanding of how to save babies’ lives and using that evidence to drive changes in maternity policy and practice.

Wellbeing of Women - After witnessing the grief of a young man whose wife died during childbirth, Obstetrician Professor Will Nixon of University College Hospital set up the organisation to stop women and babies dying in pregnancy and childbirth. He and a team of well-respected obstetricians, gynaecologists and business partners registered it as a charity. They expanded their reach to all areas of women’s reproductive health, becoming Wellbeing of Women in 2004. Women’s health remains chronically underfunded and neglected. Awareness of women’s health issues remains low, and many tell us they don’t speak up or seek help for fear of not being taken seriously. Their research is pioneering major advances in new tests, treatments and cures and their campaigns are driving change where it’s desperately needed. They are the only UK charity working across all of women’s gynaecological and reproductive health.

Women deserve better. That’s why we’re doing all we can to improve women’s health throughout their lives, from birth to menopause and beyond.

Why am I doing this?? It is something I have always wanted to do but I never felt ready. What I went through still feels very raw and I struggle to speak about it but I am so incredibly grateful to be here and be in this position which is why I feel like now is the right time to give something back to both charities.

I felt so priviledged and lucky to have my gorgeous son Calum, Billy and I wanted to add to our family and hoped for a little brother or sister for Calum but it was'nt easy, we had many heartbreaking miscarriages, a topic that is not widely spoken about nor did we get any answers as to why this was happening to us. Our options were give up or try IVF, I was so grateful for the fact that I already had a son but we thought we would give IVF a shot. Just before we were about to start our IVF journey we had a positive test, I didnt want to get too excited but the days went by, the days turned into weeks, the scans were looking good, it was all positive, we could'nt believe it, we had been so scared to share our news just incase it ended as the others did but at 22 weeks we told our friends and family and we could'nt wait to meet our baby.

We had our date for our caesarean section and we could'nt have been more excited to get this far. Our little baby had other ideas and wanted to surprise us early, so we got to hospital and I was rushed in for an emergency c section. What felt like only seconds they introduced me to our little boy, his chubby face and long dark hair, we were over the moon. I asked the anaesthetist what the time was and as I did the mood soon changed and I looked at Billy, he was grey, there was alarms going off and the room was suddenly full of people, I knew it was bad, the hours were passing by and I was losing any little bit of energy I had left. I said to Billy `'tell the boys that I love them every single day" I closed my eyes and hoped for the best. When I came round and seen my little boy I felt so overwhelmed with relief but I was'nt out of the woods just yet. Regardless of the pain and tubes I made sure I got my pictures with my new baby and got Billy to write a message to all my friends and family to tell them we were both ok and our gorgeous boy had arrived. I didnt want anyone to worry but the next couple of days were really tough, we made excuses as to why no one could visit.The pain, the uncertainty, the worry, I was afraid to sleep just incase I wouldnt wake up. I knew I had to dig deep and get through this. Thankfully I slowly started to improve, but it was a slow process, I always put on a brave face but in all honesty I think it took me a good year to feel like I was back to myself, physically, emotionally and mentally.

The worst trauma for me was the fact that I could have left my boys and that is what makes me feel so emotional, every time I think about it, it really upsets me, leaving my kids is my biggest fear.

On the other hand I am so grateful that I am here, I am living, I am breathing, I am so incredibly lucky and I will never take that for granted.

I wanted to give something back, I want to remember the babies and mothers that are not so lucky, I want to give something to each of these charities to help support their loved ones when they need it most. It is a devastating position to be in and it happens every single day and it is not widely spoken about and the reason it is not spoken about is because it is too painful.

I would really appreciate any donation that you are willing to give, this really means so much to me and it has taken a lot to speak so publicly about it.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Lots of Love

Sinead xxxx