On December 13th I went into hospital with reduced movements at 41 weeks pregnant. After a while on a trace, it was clear that Gabriel’s heart was not coping with the mild contractions I was having. I was taken to the labour ward where my waters were broken and his heart continued to be monitored. Even though there was meconium in the waters, his heart was struggling and I had gone in with reduced movements, there didn’t seem to be an urgency and I continued to be monitored for a further two hours. After an examination, the midwife struggled to find Gabriel’s heartbeat and pressed ‘the button’. Medical practioners piled into the room, several of them trying to find some trace of his heartbeat. But he had gone. Gabriel was born on December 14th 2017 at 16:12, peacefully sleeping.

I had 41 weeks with my angel and treasure every memory of his kicks and wiggles. I spent 5 days with Gabriel in hospital and those precious moments will stay with me forever.

I want to ensure my little pudding lives on, that his name is remembered and spoken about and in this awful time, some light can be found. When I was pregnant with Gabriel, I designed monthly milestone cards to take photos of him each month. I have now used these to create a calendar, in his memory and this has raised thousands for Tommy's Baby Charity. This is still available as a pdf download on my Etsy store (DoodlePopStore) with all profit going to Tommy's. Gabriel also raised £400 for Remember My Baby in February 17 through sales of Valentine's and Mother's Day cards.

When it was time for me to leave Gabriel, I wanted something tangible I could carry throuh those doors with me-my friend bought me a little locket and I held onto that little lock of hair so tightly as I left. Mine meant so much to me, maybe it would to others too. I am now raising money to donate little silver lockets to the hospital Gabriel was born in, for mothers of angels to take a little part of their baby home with them.

Thank you so much for your genorisity and supporting my little Gabriel‘s story