My brilliant, creative, funny, clever Wifey, Lindsay Durdle, died on the 31st of May 2018 just 18 months after her initial breast cancer diagnosis, and just 5 months after the diagnosis of secondaries.

Lindsay did not get bitter, or give up on life, and she didn’t let people call her “brave”. She preferred “strong”. And strong she was, making a conscious decision to live, love and laugh as much as possible before the end which came all too soon.

Anyone who knows Lindsay will be able to picture her smile, and hear the laugh. She kept those to the very end, making the absolute most of her last few months. Ever the organiser, she has ensured I know exactly what needs finishing in the house we are renovating, and the garden she was planning.

Even when admitted to hospital towards the end, on high flow oxygen and given a “slim” chance of getting home by the Doctors, as they shook their heads sadly, she persisted. She worked through the process, defying all expectations to get her oxygen need to the point where she could come home to the house, garden and cats she so loved.

Multiple organisations helped us on our journey, and before she died Lindsay made sure I knew which ones to fund-raise for, and in which order funds should be allocated. I've set a modest target, but having seen the outpouring of love for Lindsay I fully expect to smash it.

Thank you all.

Howard

All monies collected via this fundraiser will be donated to the following charities:

Cancer Research UK - Choosing breast cancer as the specific cancer to help.

Breast Cancer Care - As well as providing lots of helpful information early on, they sent Lindsay on weekends away where she could talk to others going through the same thing, and where she made new friends.

The Royal Berks Charity - our local hospital charity, which did so much to try to treat her disease, then ease her pain.

Maggie's - Lindsay loved visiting Maggie's - where art and architecture were part of the therapeutic effect. We both visited a few times soon after the terminal diagnosis which really helped us both with perspective and deciding what was important)

Lindsay also found support from some other charities, which will all receive small contributions:

TrekStock - Young Adult Cancer Support - gave Lindsay the HeadSpace meditation app.  She already knew about this app for her iPhone, but the £8 per month fee had been a (silly!) barrier to using it. They removed that. Mindfulness and meditation helped her hugely over the last 18 months, especially during spells of neutropenia and sepsis when she needed to stay calm.

My Cancer My Choices - provided acupuncture treatments that Lindsay very much enjoyed while she was undergoing Chemotherapy.

Shine Cancer Young People - a wonderful group Lindsay got a lot out of, including new friends. Had she been well enough they would have paid for her weekend away to meet them all.