Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

It has taken me a long time to be able to even write the following sentence but here goes. 

I was raped. 

I don't really talk about what happened to me, partly because we're conditioned to be embarrassed about it or feel like it's our fault, and partly because I don't ever want anyone to think of me as being as powerless and weak as I felt that night. But also partly because of the
reactions that I have experienced since. 

It happened after a networking event that I attended for work. The guy who did it was a contractor that I'd known for 5 years at the time, he was married and had a small child. 

I ran 10 minutes from a taxi to my hotel room to get away as I was feeling uncomfortable but the colleague I was with said he'd brought the guy to the hotel and told him which room I was staying in because he "thought I wanted it". My manager told me that as soon as I'd left the networking event and gone to a bar with 20+ other  networkers that it was no longer a work event but a "piss up", to leave my "issues" outside of the office and that because I'd let it affect my work I'd clearly lost my love of recruitment so it *might be best to just shake hands and part ways". 

The same manager told me to "stop shouting about it" after I was overheard confiding in some female friends who I worked with. 

The same manager told a female colleague that I "probably wanted it" and told another that I had "gone crazy" when he received my sick note after my doctor advised that I take some time off. 

I confided in a woman and ex colleague who also knew him.. She said "oh that doesn't sound like x.. Are you sure you didn't give him the wrong idea?" 

At one point I even said to my family that I wished I hadn't reported it to the police, what with the invasive medical examination and processing time during which I was in a city 100 miles from home and just wanted to shower and change but instead had to wait there for 10 hours then sit on a train for 90 minutes back to Bristol in someone else's clothes, or the fact that I was expected to send my phone to the Met police, because the police in Bristol couldn't help, with no timelines of how long it would take to get it back. His phone wouldn't need to be checked. I know I did the right thing by reporting it but man it would've been easier if I hadn't. I went weeks without hearing from anyone with regards to an update. I am fortunate to have a close friend who is an ex police officer so he was able to answer any questions I had and really helped me through the process. 

I couldn't bring myself to visit London for a long time, I hated being in hotel rooms and I even cut travelling around Eastern Europe short because I saw someone who looked like the man who did it. 

I still occasionally have a little voice at the back of my head wondering whether my top was too low cut, whether I was being too nice or whether I'd said something that he'd interpreted but then I remind myself of the first thing that rape crisis said to me: that none of it was my fault, they told me that I could've even told him that I wanted to have sex but that I ran away. I didn't tell him what hotel or room I was staying in. I was clearly saying no. 

It wasn't my fault. 

Rape crisis helped me through some very difficult times, and helped me to be a stronger version of myself but most importantly taught me
that I'll never be back to how I used to be and that it's okay because what happened was a horrendous thing but I can turn it into something positive by raising money for this wonderful charity and helping others who are going through the same thing. 

A study in 2017 revealed that 20% of women and 4% of men have experienced some type of sexual assault since the age of 16, (3.4 million female & 631,000 male victims).

I would ask that if even the slightest bit of you feels any sympathy then to please donate what you can because I no longer need sympathy or support but there are many people who do. 

So to raise money, I will be doing a challenge a month for
the whole of 2022.  They are:

• January: Veganuary - anyone who knows me will know that I add cheese to anything I can get away with and I'm the sort of person that will like the sound of a vegan dish but ask for it with added meat
• February: Give up smoking for a month. 
• March: Give up drinking for a month
• April: 30 hrs worth of volunteering throughout the month
• May: Readathon - read 10 books (any recommendations would be hugely appreciated!)
• June: Abseil off the suspension bridge 
• July: Walk 300 kms throughout the month
• August: Climb Snowdon
• September: Climb 3000 flights of stairs throughout the month
• October: Run 10k in under an hour (my fastest time was 1hr 22mins)
• November: Complete four 50m outdoor swims with no wet suit
• December: Cycle lands end to John o Groats across the month (837 miles) 

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.