My 18 year old daughter Lucy died suddenly 6 years ago of an asthma attack whilst out with friends in Manchester. Because it was sudden death, and she was classed as an adult as she was 18 (by 6 months!) we weren’t offered any bereavement support as a family or supported by anyone once we left the hospital.

I tried to get bereavement support for my two younger sons but we were met with an 18 month to two year waiting list.

I was introduced to local Manchester based charity Once upon a Smile about 3 months after Lucy’s death. They offer emotional bereavement support for children dealing with the death of a parent or sibling. They also offer financial support for low income families who can’t face going straight back to work following a bereavement, or who are suddenly faced with having to pay costs for funeral expenses. They don't have waiting lists, and make sure every family referred to them get support.

They are community funded and their only income is from people like me putting in events to fundraise for them. They have a Bereavement Hub called Sidley House in Trafford Park where they have dedicated therapy rooms for children who have experienced loss. The annual running costs are set to reach over £200,000 again this year, in 2021 the costs of running Sidley House reached £219,120, which is just under £20,000 per month.

All of the support they provide takes place at Sidley House, they have rooms within Sidley House dedicated to ensuring they can provide tailored bereavement support for children when a parent or sibling has died such as – baking room which provides a safe space to allow children to express in a creative way on a 1:1 and group basis. They also have a Lego Room which provides a space to help children to communicate their experiences with the support workers, by using different figures such as emergency service items like ambulances, hospitals, and police figures, this can help children find a voice with different themes that are linked to their experiences. Lego is one of the many creative tools they use as it offers children an opportunity to explore and express emotions when they can't find the words.

The Teen and chill out (Lucy & Isaacs’s Room, named after my daughter Lucy) was designed by the teens for the teens, this room offers a space for children and young people to come together, build friendships and share memories of their loved ones. Within this room there is table tennis, a pool table and a large corner sofa.

This October Lucy should have been turning 25. So, to celebrate her life and to raise much needed funds for OUAS I am putting on a black tie ball.  The hope is that we can raise £25,000 to provide a Bereavement Support Worker in Lucys memory, so more bereaved children can access support.