3 years ago today I was sat in a little room with my mum, a doctor and a nurse ready to finally get the results back from a biopsy I had on a pea size lump under my arm. I was just under the impression this would be a fatty lump and nothing to worry about. The doctor was talking a lot about things I had no understanding about and then he said the words "Non Hodgkin's follicular lymphoma" these were just words to me!! The conversation continued but I had totally stopped listening - what felt like a life time I mange to speak "so I have cancer?" to which the doctor replied "YES"! I cant remember anything else from this point - I just sat there thinking how? I'm only 30, I have a 11 year old daughter, how do I tell her this? will I die? but I'm not poorly how can I have cancer? 

The next 9 months consisted of lots of scans, bone marrow was taken, lots of bloods and lots of talks with the professionals about what my cancer actually is. All my lymph nodes grew and grew to the point they were visible, this was hard for me to see, I literally could see the cancer growing daily. In January 2019 chemo started for 6 months, this was the toughest thing I've ever had to go through. I decided that in order for me to be strong enough to come out the other side I needed to be physically strong. I had already been poling for a short time before all this and loved it, loved how it made me feel. Pole became my place, my sanctuary you could maybe call it. 

I am still under treatment for 2 year maintenance which will be over this august. How I feel about treatment ending completely is a big mixed bag of emotions. Non Hodgkin's basically means the type of cancer I have is non curable. So this is why I have decided to use my anniversary to raise some money for a foundation that specifically focuses on NHFL the Follicular Lymphoma Foundation - Non curable is NOT OK!!! 

So you are probably wondering why I have decided to share this story. On Thursday 1st April myself and Jen will be starting a 1 month challenge "Cartwheel kicking cancers arse" we are aiming to do 1000 pole cartwheel kicks in aid to raise £1000 for a charity that could potentially find a cure for follicular lymphoma. The reason I have chose to use pole as my platform is a no brainer really. Pole kept me physically and mentally strong, the support I received from my pole family was unconditional and 100% helped me through the toughest part of my life! The pole community is amazing, I am hoping that putting my story out there in the pole world will bring me and Jen lots of love and support whilst completing this challenge. Also not only to raise money but raise awareness of the type of cancer I have, as like I mentioned I wasn't actually sick, I was young and healthy - well so I thought! Raising awareness to such a vast group of people could potentially make one person go and get that little lump checked.