I am running the Bristol Half Marathon on the 15th September 2019 for my chosen charity Mind. I am hoping to raise money  which will go to helping the charity raise awareness and help people with mental health problems.

MY STORY..... 

In January 2019 I was in a very dark place, to the point in which I wanted to give up on life, things got too difficult and I was struggling to cope. I thought to myself this isnt happening to me, I dismissed it for a while but in the end it crept up on me and before I knew it I was in trouble. I lost all  confidence, control and felt I was just existing not living. My work and family life got affected and I felt embarrassed and ashamed that I had let myself and everyone around me down.  

As a man the most embarrassing thing to do is ask for help, I thought how can I tell someone that I am unhappy inside, that I can't cope anymore, and that I have had thoughts to end my life. I cried for help to my close family not willingly I may add, but with there help and support I got professional help at the right time. I'd lost my identity, confidence, self esteem, motivarion and hated what I saw in the mirror. My health took a turn for the worst, my weight got out of control and within a short peiord of time I put on 2 and halfnstone. I was well and truly at rock bottom, it felt like I was in a hole and the more I tried to escape the deeper it got. 

I have to say it has been the hardest 6 months of my life, living with depression and anxiety is exhausting, in the early days it was a struggle to even get out of bed, wash, clean my teeth and talk to my family, for days I would lock myself away from the world and wish it would all end.  The voices in my head critising me, telling me I'm not worthy of happiness, I'm a failure and a let down didn't help, by the end of each day I was mentally exhausted as I would just sit and ruminate about my negative thoughts.

It is now 8 months on and I have made great progress, I am making positive steps and feel I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I am focusing all my energy in getting to a happy place where I can live a relatively stress free life. I focus my energy on exercise and love going for runs, this is something I do most day, it is now a routine of mine and I feel I have control over IT. It is a work in progress but I am determined to keep myself stay in a positive state of mind. 

 I have set myself this challenge to run the Bristol Half Marathon and couldnt think of a better charity to fundraise for. I want to challenge myself and push myself through this hard stage in my life and now I am at the tail end of my depression I can't see any better way than to give something back. It goes to show really how things can change, in January I couldn't see the wood through the trees every day was my mount everest, I couldn't see a future going on the way I was but, with the right help and shear determination to beat this, I will be running 13.1 miles!! Sounds nuts really 😳

If my story can help one person talk out and get the right help, I will be made up as I know what it is like to hit rock bottom, there is no worse place and at the time u can't see it changing any time soon. Believe me with help you can get out of it and live a happy and healthy life.  Don't do what I did for many months and sit there in silence suffering, life is too short enjoy the time you have. I just want to let men and women know it is ok to talk, but feel as a man there is more of a stigma that comes with mental health, don't feel embarrassed and ashamed guys like I did, speak out, get talking, and get happy!!! 

Thank you for sponsoring me it is much appreciated, I am so determined to be the best I can be, and feel to accomplish this will be a great achievement.

I will keep you updated with how my training is going. 

😁👍

Alex 

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