I'm taking a break from pouting into my phone and taking selfies to ask the tiniest favour from all of our 500,000 readers and followers. 

It's my birthday on March 29 2020 and thanks to the current lockdown, I can't celebrate it by getting bitterly drunk and giving Paul a slurred list of all of his faults. You can imagine how heartbroken I am. However, I appreciate it's nothing in the grand scheme of things.

But, as we get asked every year if people can send cards, we decided to do something different. If you can spare a couple of quid, can you please consider donating to Brysons? They are our local animal shelter and they are really, really starting to struggle with lack of donations during these dark times. It is an amazing place run entirely by marvellous people who take in more waifs and strays than I do.

If you have a spare quid, please consider donating - every little helps! Think of it like buying me a drink, but this way I'm not putting a burden on the NHS by turning yellow and being sick in the A&E waiting room.

Thank you all, and with much love,

James x