Hello again.

 

On 18 April 2010 I will be taking part in the first ever Brighton Marathon, with the aim of raising as much money as possible for the Alzheimer’s Society.

 

This will be my fourth marathon, and I was genuinely touched by the support and generosity I was shown when I ran the London Marathon in 2008, with my Mum sister and aunt making particularly sizeable donations to take the total raised to over £2,200.

 

Rather than bombard you with figures on the widespread and under-funded issues with dementia, I thought I would take on a more human angle, and tell you about Frank.

 

Frank, for those who don’t know, is my Dad.  He retired in 1999 and became a real pillar of the community, his main work being his self-appointed role of Graffiti Officer, keeping his home town of Molesey, Surrey clean of graffiti.  In the picture above, taken in 2004, he is receiving an award for his work in the community at the first ever Elmbridge Community Awards ceremony.

 

As it turns out, 2004 was to be a big year for him.  Five days before his 70^th birthday he received the best present imaginable; his first grandchild, James.  James adored his slightly eccentric Granddad from a very young age, loving his aeroplane impressions in the garden, and after his Mum and Dad, his Granddad was pretty much his favourite person in the world.

 

However, it was about this time that we first noticed that things were not quite right with Dad.  Things that had previously been second nature to him, such as writing cheques and paying for things in shops, suddenly became a real challenge.  He would become uncharacteristically anxious about minor things and had an increasing tendency to trip up/stumble/fall over.  Every so often he would lose his way halfway through a sentence.

 

At first my sister Alison and I put this down to his old age, but after one occasion when he tried to offer me a plate of sandwiches without realising that his hands were empty, it soon became apparent that he was suffering with something more sinister.

 

In early summer 2005 he collapsed whilst out walking with James in his buggy.  Initial fears of a heart attack were soon ruled out, and TIA’s (mini strokes) considered a possibility.

His GP suggested a number of possible ailments – with Alzheimer’s a possibility – and referred him to the memory clinic.

 

His health slowly deteriorated over the next couple of years.  The falls, confusion and anxiety gradually became more regular; however his memory and personality remained largely unchanged.  He was still our Dad, James’ Granddad.  One of the most difficult things to watch was that he has real insight into his illness and an awareness of what the future was likely to hold for him.  Despite this we were always amazed that he never took his frustrations out on us which would have been a very natural way to react.

 

A chest infection at Christmas 2008 really knocked him for six, and in the weeks afterwards it became apparent that he was losing the ability to look after himself.  A fall through a patio door, leaving him wedged in a small pane with sharp, jagged glass protruding up from the bottom could have been fatal had I not happened to be in the next room at the time.  Thankfully (and remarkably) he was unharmed.

 

Carer’s were arranged to come each morning and evening to help look after him, but after showing the signs of a stroke one morning in April 2009 he was rushed to hospital, where he remained for 6 weeks.  Not because he particularly needed to be there for that long, but time spent awaiting assessments and having to fight to obtain funding to assist with his care, together with a lack of communication between the hospital and Social Services made our next move very difficult.  We realised that despite the efforts of the carers he was no longer able to look after himself at home on his own.  We had tentatively raised the possibility of care homes to him in the past and he hated the thought, so we felt we owed it to him to keep him at home for as long as we possibly could.

 

After a month’s respite care he came home to a full-time live-in carer in June 2009.  He had a number of carers over the next couple of months; Most were good, a couple were brilliant, a couple not so good.

 

In late 2009 he was back in hospital for another 6 weeks.  His mobility had become so poor that it was not possible for just one person to lift him.  He’s only a slight man – 5’7 and 10 or so stone, but even two paramedics had difficulty moving him to an ambulance.  We reluctantly accepted that it would no longer be possible for him to live at home and went about deciding which care home he should be placed in.

 

After a long and arduous battle and thanks to the unrelenting efforts of Alison we were finally granted the funding he was entitled to in December 2009, and after visiting a number of care homes opted for Upper Halliford Nursing Home, where he moved a couple of days before Christmas and remains to this day.

 

We’re in no doubt that he is in the best possible hands and is extremely well looked after, but it’s difficult to come to terms with the fact that our Dad, who had always been very fit, active and extremely articulate is now in this position and cannot perform even basic tasks of daily living when he should be enjoying trips to the theatre and football, picking James up from school, hosting Residents’ Associations meetings, cleaning graffiti, going out with his camera, etc.  One of the saddest things of all this is that his Grandchildren will never know the sort of Granddad he was or would have been; infinitely patient and fun loving.

 

Regrettably, even if a cure was imminent it would probably come too late for Dad, who is now at an advanced stage of the illness.  However, despite everything he has gone through he never fails to recognise his family, and his legacy will be in the thousands of photos he’s taken, letters he’s written, and work in the community.  Although he no longer lives in Molesey he’s left his mark on the place.  Just a couple of weeks ago I was in a taxi office and one of his photos of the owner’s son’s football team was hanging on the wall.  His name appears on the Millennium Marker by the Riverside and he has inspired a new generation of graffiti cleaners that means Molesey remains largely graffiti-free.

 

As for what form of dementia he suffers with, this remains to some extent a mystery.  Officially he has Alzheimer’s disease, although the fact that his personality was until recently largely unaffected means we have our doubts.  Lewy Body Dementia has recently been mentioned as a possibility, although there has never been that much interest in pin-pointing exactly what he suffers from.  Sadly, in a lot of cases this cannot be established until post-mortem. 

 

So, I’ll be running for Frank, and if you’re able to make a small donation I’d be enormously grateful.  However, I have secured a place in the marathon in my own right, so if you already donate to equally worthwhile causes, don’t like me that much, or just don’t have any spare cash, don’t feel pressured to donate, as I’m not required to raise a minimum amount.

 

Thanks for reading, NOW GIVE ME SOME MONEY!

 

Andrew

 

P.S.  2011 = Triathlon, with Edward Oliver Ryan.  Can’t back out now, Ed!

Update 16/3/2010:

 

Well, after less than 48 hours you've already knocked my initial target out the park, so I'm having to raise the bar.  Thanks to all who have donated so far:

Little Cath - Good luck with London...  I've got a feeling I'm going to owe you another fiver!

Leanne -   Little?  Seriously?  But thank you.  If you do get time to pop in when you're over Dad would love you and your sunny disposition.

Ed - 4:59:59 and under and I'm dedicating it all to you, pal.

Mum - £250?  Seriously?  That's my inheritance you're squandering!  ;-)  but thank you.  I was actually going to offer to match whatever anyone donated.... good job I didn't.

Sam - Oooooh unlucky.  I've already used up my sub 5 hour dedication.  But thanks for taking one for the team and going immediately after Mum's mammoth donation.

Paul - I got quite choked up when I saw your post.  You really made an impression on Dad and he was so touched when you said to him a couple of years ago "thanks for being you", that he wrote it down and put it on his noticeboard so that he wouldn't forget it.

Peter - thank you.  Dad has always admired you and was genuniely touched when you made a speech at his 70th birthday.

Tracey - I actually think Dad likes you more than me and Alison!  You've made watching rubbish football worthwhile!

The Morgans - You would be the last people on earth I would begrudge not donating after the support you gave me last time.  So thank you once again, all three of you.

Sassy - Southern hemisphere running buddy.  18 mile training runs would be much more bearable if I had you tagging along.  Thank you, and I'll hopefully see you in Croatia in the summer.

Update 28/03/2010:

 

Thanks Ann, Betty, Kaitlin and Bradders (I'll relax your T&C's.... just 'Sir' will do from now on), although it's gone a bit quiet the past week or so, so feel free to keep donating, and thanks again to everyone who has donated so far... this kind of thing really brings out the best in people.

 

I'm typing this a few hours after completing a 20 mile run... my final distance run before the race.  With the weather being so rubbish throughout the winter it's been a cold and lonely training programme, although a minor problem with my back and a slight thigh strain has limited me to just distance runs over the past month or so, although I'll squeeze in some shorter runs, a hill run and some fartleking over the final three weeks.

 

Despite being tripped up by a labrador after a few hundred yards, the 20 miles were relatively comfortable, taking about three and a half hours, with minimal stiffness, no chaffing and even a bit of sprint for the final 100 metres.

 

If you're thinking of donating and want to make your contribution performance based, my three previous marathons have been completed in 5hrs 5 mins 45 seconds (Edinburgh, 2005), 5hrs 11 mins, 59 seconds (Nottingham 2005) and 5 hrs 16 mins 35 seconds (London 2008), therefore my objectives for Brighton, in order of importance, are as follows:

1) To finish
2) To set a PB
3) To set a PB inside 5 hours
4) To set an Olympic qualifying time
5) To win
6) To break Haile Gebrselassie's world record of 2 hrs 3 mins 59 seconds... although I'd settle for Radcliffe's womens record of 2 hrs 15 mins 25 seconds.

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Upate 18/04/2010:

 

Thank you so much again to everyone who has donated.  It's just gone 10pm on race day and I'm shattered so will write more during my Lord of the Rings marathon tomorrow, but just to let you all know I completed it in a rather leisurely 5 hours 21 minutes, and it was extremely tough going.

 

Night night.

Andrew

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Update 19/04/2010:

 

Well, my official time has been recorded at 5 hours 21 minutes and 9 seconds, and as has been pointed out I'm getting progressively slower!

 

However, it was a hot day, with no cloud in the sky, hardly any shade, plus I'm ginger, so the sun tortured me.  On top of that I was so desperate to come in inside 5 hours I set off too quickly, doing the first half in about 2 hours 12 mins (not including 8-10 minutes queuing for and using the toilet) then paid for it in the second half of the race, having to walk for about 5 mins from 17.5 miles, then alternating between jogging and walking for the final 8 miles.

 

It sounds cheesy, but during those 8 miles when things were tough I thought of the support you've all given me and the lengthy list of sponsors below and on paper and it honestly did give me a boost, so thank you all once more.

 

On the plus side, unlike in previous years I didn't get beaten by an 8 man caterpillar, 70 year old woman dressed as supergran or any other elaborate fancy dress costume... in fact I came in before a storm trooper and Sponge Bob Square Pants, and absolutely thrashed a giant pair of testicles.

 

This site limits me to 10 photos, and in most of the photos taken on Sunday I either look camp, grumpy, simple or all three, but once I've rounded all photos up I'll put them on Facebook, if you have no access and want to see some of them, feel free to email me - finchyinoz@hotmail.com