I am allergic to exercise.

I have been discouraged from going to the gym because concerned strangers tend to observe my raspberry-pink, copiously-sweating, eye-rolling form and offer me antihistamines/hugs/an ambulance.

But life is too short not to push out of your comfort zone, which is why I have decided to enter myself in one of the most intensive challenges around, Tough Mudder. This will take place on the 9th of June, exactly 7 weeks after I entered a gym for the first time in 3 years.

Tough Mudder is a 12-mile race designed by the Special Forces, incorporating 26 obstacles including electric shocks, swimming through ice-water, wriggling through tiny tiny tunnels, running through fire, and scrambling over impossibly high walls.

Those who know me will be only too familiar with the fact that I am bone idle and incapable of running for the bus - not to mention terrified of heights and small spaces. It is therefore unlikely that (should I survive this) I will ever take on a challenge so monumentally out of character. I implore you to dig deep, safe in the knowledge that you won't be asked to sponsor me to do anything, ever again.

I am raising money for Marie Curie Cancer Care in memory of my Uncle Rodney, who died in October of last year. He endured a long and excrutiating struggle with cancer and, when eventually he was unable to take care of himself, Marie Curie provided him with care, comfort and dignity to the last.

Should anyone wish to observe my humiliation/triumph, spectator tickets are available for £10 here. But if you're deciding between donating a tenner and coming to laugh at me, please opt for the former. People like Rodney deserve the best care available and, quite frankly, I need all the encouragement I can get.