My name is Becca Page and in the picture above is my brother Simon, this photo was taken just before he passed away and he is just one reason I am here raising money for a vaccine to beat Crohns disease for good!

Simon sadly passed away from Cancer at the age of 27, but he had Crohns disease from a young age and I believe that if he hadn't of had Crohns he might of had a fighting chance of survival.

I also have Crohns Disease, I was diagnosed 20 years ago when I was 6 years old, my brother was diagnosed when he was 11. My childhood consisted of severe pain, being sick after everything I ate, even when I had nothing left in my stomach, constant trips to the toilet, hospital appointments, blood tests, scans, trips to A&E, sleeping all the time and missing school ALOT. Throw in the fat face and skinny body due to Steroids, the mountain of tablets and the name calling at school both primary and secondary (no one knew at that time I had crohns so was ultimately funny to other children seeing me with "chicken legs" and  a "fat face") At the same time my brother was suffering with all of the above so you can imagine the fights we had over one toilet in the house!.

I remember being as young as 7 when I told my mum as I rolled around in agony that I wanted to die...no parent you should hear that and no child should feel that way.

That the thing about Crohns disease it doesn't just affect you physically with the pain and tiredness, it affects everything including your social and emotional development especially as children but also as adults. Me and my brother have probably had about 20 operations between us up until he passed. Myself 13 major ops including ileostomy's and colostomies. The latter which literally saved my life in all ways, but they don't tell you that with crohns comes the embarrassment, of leaking bags, of "funny noises" of needing to excuse you yourself when your out wherever and whomever your with while you run to the nearest toilet, of having to plan every trip you go on so that you know where the nearest toilet is and sometimes the nearest hospital to where you are. Having to apologise to your friends for making them wait 20-30 minutes because it has taken you that long before you finally felt comfortable  and had no pain to get up off the toilet.

I have had severe depression because of crohns, don't get me wrong, this disease has made me so strong, given me a positive attitude and a go getter in life, I have never and I will never let it get in the way of anything I want to do. I have never let myself wallow in it (well maybe for a day before my family kicks me up the backside..not literally cause I have enough pain down there as it is) but I did get depression. I couldn't help that, when you grow up wishing you could be like your friends and be 'normal', when your wishing everyday that you can grow even just a couple of inches because the steroids have stopped you growing and reaching puberty like your friends. I'm not surprised I got depression and I'm not ashamed to admit it because I had no control of it, Crohns would be controlling me with having constant pain, not being able to get out of my bed let alone out of the house easily, running to the toilet every 10-15 minutes as well as body changes so its no wonder that my mind started to be controlled by depression too. So what do you do when your mind and your body no longer becomes yours anymore?...

Its hard and its also hard as adult, it changes you no matter what, it takes over even when you try your hardest to not let it. As an adult with crohns you have to deal with the struggle of being able to work, of thinking if you can have children and if you do will they have crohns? if you do have children then what would happen if you need to go into hospital, if they see you in pain all the time. The intimacy issues- if you have to wear a bag will the other person still find you attractive, will they understand? If you need to go to the toilet 20-30 times  then when can you go out and meet people? again throw in the daily agony, vomiting, toilet trips, tiredness, losing weight, worrying what you can and cant eat ect...There is so much this disease does to you and many people fight this everyday.

 When I was 19 years old I was in hospital for 3 months, I was in severe pain and relying on morphine all day everyday, because the pain was too much I decided I wanted to kill myself and tried too, that was the lowest in my depression I have ever got. Now its taken a lot for me to write this as I haven't told a lot of people but I realise I am not embarrassed to admit this, my body was letting me down and I felt that I had no control of anything including my bowels and my dignity at the time, I was 5st unable to walk anywhere, do anything for myself, or go to the toilet without someone there watching me. That's no life yet that's a life that thousands of people young and old have to live with day in and day out. I am lucky that I haven't had an operation now for a few years and my crohns is the best it has ever been, my brother unfortunately never got to that stage before he passed and I know others are still facing the battle I had to face for 23 years before it got better, however I may have to face it again one day.

So this is why I am telling my story in the hope that people can understand better, as to why a vaccine is so important and can literally change children and adults lives. Crohns and colitis is a condition that I feel is still not talked about enough including the emotional sides that go with it. It shouldn't be a taboo talking about poo and bowels and wind, we all do it just some of us more then others, and those people have to deal with the extreme pain, side affects of medicine taking,  tiredness and all other aspects including abscesses, mouth ulcers, bruising, fistulas, operations ect...

I haven't even touched the sides of what crohns is, probably haven't even done justice to what others have gone through, to my battle or my brothers as I could be here for hours with everything that comes with this disease so please do look up crohns and colitis and what it is and please look up about the vaccine (website below) that may cure crohns for good one day!

 I am not asking you to just hand your money over, I am looking up things to do to fundraise, if you have any ideas then let me know! but if you do feel like donating even just a little then I will be very grateful. Thank you for reading this! :)

http://crohnsmapvaccine.com/

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