***Please take the time to read my story, it is only this year that I have really been able to come to terms with my Mum's passing at such a young age eventhough she has gone some 26 years ago***

Hi everyone, for people who don't know me my name is Jason Hill, I am 43 years old. My Mum Louisa Hill who I adored was 43 when she lost her brave battle against Breast Cancer. Until reaching this point in life I had not really thought about how young she was when her life was so cruelly taken away from her when she had so much to live for.

I have wanted for years to find something special to do to honour my mum and in turn raise as much as I could to help Breakthrough Breast Cancer. The advances in Breast Cancer Treatment and Care is amazing but this can only continue with your help. I am usually a very closed book and hide my emotions as a defence to my true feelings I learnt this as a young boy not wanting to upset or worry my mum. I want to really open up and try and give an insight into how I felt as a young boy growing up not knowing what was wrong with mum. I was only about 7 years old when my mum quietly sat me down and told me that she was poorly and would have to go into hospital. I remembered running into my bedroom crying, scared, confused and so it started. I would go to school and my Dad would pick me up about 1pm each day to take me to Clatterbridge Hospital to visit my mum I can still remember the ward names, mum's was the Conwy ward. I would have to sit outside the ward on my own to begin with to check my mum was ok to see us. I would then be collected by Dad and walked through the ward. I was scared everytime I walked through the ward hearing and seeing patients violently sick and worrying that when I got to mum she would be the same and sometimes she was but she would always have a smile for me and a big reassuring hug eventhough she would have been very sick at the time.

The difference now is in part to the fantastic work Breakthrough Breast Cancer does is in the amazing advances in treatment options. My mum would have 6 week blocks of chemo treatment and during that time Friday was a big day. Dad would pick me up from school and I would be praying all the way to Clatterbridge that mum was well enough to be allowed to come home with us for the weekend. Sometimes she wasn't and I would desperately try and not cry, always trying to be brave sometimes it would be an epic fail on my part. Mum on the other hand was so so brave and selfless but I could see the pain and sadness in her face very time we left that ward. During that time I remember most nights crying myself to sleep constantly asking myself why me? What had I done wrong for my mum to be so poorly? Why was I the only kid in school to be taken out of classes, why wasn't mum getting better faster and why couldn't she come home? 

Things did improve they allowed mum to come home to the local hospital on the prom in Rhyl. Visiting was a lot easier and mum to me looked a lot happier. My worry and being scared, confused seemed to ease I remember also feeling a lot happier. Mum soon came home and after a year or so life was back to normal. No hospital stays for mum, no obvious pain or discomfort that I could see and a new chapter of happier times began. Mum went back to work I finished primary school as Head Boy and I was spending less and less time in the care of mums special friends who I have just made contact with after all these years. In doing this extreme challenge I am also giving my thanks to them for the care, love and support they gave me during that time I was lucky mum had such true friends.

Then came a feeling that I didn't want to feel again Confusion, Worry and Being Scared. I was 15 by this time and I started noticing mum struggling at work, getting tired and generally struggling with the day to day stuff. I knew something was wrong but I was to scared to ask someone I didn't want to know. At this point my world fell apart I was old enough to read and understand the consequences of mum becoming ill again. Mum, as always would put the brave face on, think and worry about others before herself and would always try to protect me as much as she could.

Unfortunatly the Cancer had returned and was attacking her spine and the pain seemed so unbearable to her. I couldn't even give mum my get well hugs, we laughed so many times at my so called "Get Well Hugs" because I use to say as a young boy I was rubbish at giving them and would have to do it again and again and again!!! The hugs had to stop at this time to simply touch mum caused her so much pain.

I could see even at 16 that life was passing mum by and me too. Every child would say they are a mummies boy/girl well she was my life, protector, my hero, my strength and someone who was selfless in her approach to her cancer and life.

Soon after mum was rushed into hospital in horrendous pain. I went to see her the next day I sat with her and we held hands her last words to me were "You be a good boy" I remember she then squeezed my hand as if she knew. Later that night 11/1/1988 my darling mum passed.

I have grown up with a huge gap in my life as I am writing this now I am shedding a tear and a smile as I have done on many occassions. Nothing can prepare you at that age to lose the closest thing in your life so for me it was to escape to the Army where I joined the Welsh Guards, I tried to forget or ignore everything connected with mum at the time I thought it was the right thing to do at the time as it hurt so much.

Reaching the summit of Kilimanjaro, the Worlds Highest Freestanding Mountain at just under 20,000ft I hope will also allow me the chance to accept more the loss and celebrate her short but special life by honouring her in this way. If nothing more I will be a bit closer to her at nearly 20,000ft. In September 2015 I reached the summit of Kili with Team Spider a great and inspirational team. I now need to do more and why? Why the further risk the answer is easy for me BECAUSE I CAN AND IT WILL HELP and why climb 3 of the Highest Mountains in Morocco - Simple "BECAUSE THEY ARE THERE!!!" Feb 18 will see me in the Atlas Mountains. Then 29th September 2019, the BMW Berlin Marathon swopping height for distance a scary 26 miles....  

Please give as much as you can to help Breast Cancer Now and support me through these two new extreme emotional and physical challenges. I would ask if you would share this story with your friends and colleagues as well asking if your company would help support Breakthrough Breast Cancer . I am also trying to seek corperate sponsorship in an attempt to really make a difference. Please help me make that difference.

Thank You

Jason