So you have read Steve 'The Squid' Perks' page and you think he is competitive?

Yes, he’s tried a range of different activities, but do you want to sponsor a man who has been sent off piste for his collision with a young girl?! It makes you wonder if he will be able to stay in lane let alone complete the 1000m. We can’t be certain.

So to give you the TRUE facts, here’s a bit about me:

Semi qualified professional swimmer with certification in 10m and 25m swimming (Retired).

Avid bike rider (unlike 'The Squid' who can’t ride a bike).

Most recent swimming experience - Snorkelling off the coast of Cairns in February 2013 (Please see photographic evidence).

Natural born athlete with trophies in Judo, Discus and Donkey Derby.

Runner up in Regional Dance Final.

Skilled Marksman with hours of frontline experience against un-dead hordes via The Rotunda in Kingston upon Thames.

Up to now training for this high profile event has resulted in 1 hour of swimming training to allow 'The Squid', a bit of a chance. My unconventional training method of jogging and weight training will hopefully still give me the winning edge over 'The Squid'.

As you can see from my impressive stats, im a natural born winner!!! IT'S HAMMER TIME!!!!

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