My Nan was a really special woman.  She lived a busy social life at St Peter's in Filton, where she was Sacristan, but she was special to me because of the unconditional love she gave and the time she spent with my brother and me when we were growing up.  The best times we spent were at Clevedon, where we would go crabbing off the jetty.  She had a brown Ford Cortina and in those days the pier was broken.

She was a typical "Nan" shape: rather round - she enjoyed her food - especially sweet food.  She was a jot to cuddle up to - I particularly loved the way she'd gentry tickle me.  It was to her that I would go when things got tough.

Nan always took what life gave her, thanked God and got on with it.  She expected little and was always delighted with whatever she did get.  I remember her as a very positive and happy woman.

The trouble was her shape – she was cuddly and a delight to snuggle into, but it gave her problems with her joints.  In particular she became diabetic.  It’s possible that her diabetes let to a stroke that caused a fall … that in turn led to dementia.

When I heard that she had dementia, I really didn’t know what it was.  Nan was relieved: her forgetfulness and strange moods that had become more frequent had an explanation – and in her special way she just got on with things.

I didn’t know what was to come.  She changed slowly.  My Partner looked after her for a while and got to know a woman that my brother, Mum and I could never have known.  I think the woman he knew it was closer to the young girl in the WAF than the Nan and Sacristan I knew.

But bit-by-bit her mind was taken.  She moved from an independent flat to increasing sheltered accommodation.  She had hospital stays and at a number of times we thought she was going to die.

She rallied in 2008 for our Civil Partnership.  She was a character, loved by everyone and loving the occasion.  I think this was the last time she really flowered.

She gradually became less able to recognise us and communicate.  Words and recognition became fewer.  It became impossible for her to leave the home, as she couldn’t be manoeuvred into a wheelchair, let alone a car.

The last time she went in a car was to Clevedon where she ate ice-cream and chips and threw up in the car on the way home.

She generally retained her happy outlook to life.  We were very lucky in that regard.

Three years after our wedding she died quietly in her sleep with my Mum and Dad by her side.

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Every year ALD Automotive (the day job) chose a charity for the whole company to support and this year the Alzheimer’s Society was chosen.  ALD will double whatever money is raised for the charity – so this represented a massive opportunity to make a big difference to the quality of life of those suffering form dementia and their families.

 

I hope that increased awareness of the illness will encourage people to make the most of the good times that still remain to them.  I hope that research into dementia and Alzheimer’s will find better ways to manage the illnesses and perhaps prevent them.

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